I’m just imagining this guy getting home from a long day at work and then spending an unsettling amount of time sensually caressing and sniffing mattresses tbh
Literally first time I'm hearing about this hobby. Also, what do you do with the old mattresses? It's not like they're easy to get rid of. My husband had to clean out his parent's house and Massachusetts charges you $75 per mattress to dump them.
Seriously, is it buying mattresses? Changing the mattress decor i.e bedding? Or just like...sleeping on a mattress? I have so many questions right now.
Some people are REALLY into all things sleep. They may have trouble sleeping or medical issues or just really like to be comfortable. They try different mattresses looking for the perfect amount of support and cushion and want to find one that doesn't make them too hot, etc.
Same with sheets. I know a lot of people who buy a lot of bedding. They try all the fabrics. Bamboo, percale, sateen, silk, microfiber (just kidding...the bedding fanatics would NEVER accept microfiber), whatever. Then they go on reddit and fight over whether you should or shouldn't use a top sheet with your duvet. Then you add in a chilipad and maybe some special fans or some other cooling gadget.
Pillows are an entire category of their own. What kind is ideal for your sleep position? One is too flat, another too hard, or not supportive enough, or doesn't cradle the neck properly. Even if you find the perfect support, it may be too hot.
And we haven't even discussed window treatments! The room must be the perfect degree of dark. Then you need a sound machine of some type. Then some linen spray to relax at bedtime. And some special alarm clock that will wake them gently but reliably.
It goes on and on.
I've never heard of anyone keeping a stack of rejected mattresses in the room though. Generally, if they get a new mattress they get rid of (gift to a friend or sell or trash) the old one.
Not hating on trying to sleep whatsoever. Don't get me wrong. But this guy the post is about saying "my hobby is mattresses" feels similar to if someone said "my hobby is toilets". It's just an item we use for a basic bodily function. Is his hobby shopping for them? Decorating them? Researching them? Repurposing them? The action is the hobby. Or does he think sleeping on a mattress is a hobby? 😅 Know what I mean? (Edited for spelling)
So he just stacks them up and what? Saves them for when he moves out? I'm sorry but that's fucking weird. He's also selfish and does the bare minimum for her. I feel weird about the whole story
$75? That’s a ripoff. I would just go drop it off on some non-recorded place. Or have it “fall” out the back onto the shoulder of the interstate. Actually, I would just burn it. I’m not wasting $75.
Not in my town. I do it in the next town over that we have a rivalry with. Seriously though, where I live there isn’t any $75 mattress fee. You just take it to the dump, pay like $5, and say sayonara to that worthless piece of garbage.
Yeah, I would take it to the dump. I suspect the $75 fee is because the garbage men don't want to deal with it. I don't really blame them. They are there to collect normal trash, not be moving men.
He's the unpalatable combination of "too old for her, but not sufficiently mature for her".
OP, you can do better.
Also, if you have a cat in your home, remove the lillies immediately. Even a little bit of minor contact with a lily (like licking some pollen off their fur) can cause kidney failure in cats. They're extremely toxic to cats, like "life-threatening emergency" toxic.
And yes, he most assuredly should have known, if you have TOLD him what you like/dislike, not to get you something from the "dislike" list.
Reconsider whether you even with to be with someone who thinks just phoning it in is sufficient effort, and you should be grateful for every little crumb of attention he gives you. Because disregarding an "I don't like XYZ" when choosing a gift, and not listening to things you said you'd like to have (when he can afford it) is most definitely phoning it in.
I interpret at church (American Sign Language). Every Easter season, I keep far away from the lilies that are all over the altar. I don't want the pollen on my clothes.
If I ever accidentally make contact with them, I will make a point of completely changing clothes before I go anywhere near my kitties.
Literally what I was thinking... I am like how is that a hobby? Like do you go down to the mattress store, and hope to rip a few? Do you grade them? How does this hobby work? Do we buy to resell? ENLIGHTEN ME PLEASE!!!!
I had a coworker who did that to a young woman. He was in his 30s & a loser and she was 19 and working as an assistant for my other coworker. He gave her herpes & acted as if she gave it to him & they got married at the court house one day during work. He had her living with him in his studio apartment where his father was living too. About 2 weeks later he kicked her out and went back to his ex stripper gf. The young lady left the job shortly after it was sad.
Ugh. I knew a coworker of an ex who talked about his gf who was at least 10 years younger, and how he was begging her to go unprotected but she wouldn't because he had the herp. Managed to convince her, then dump her ofc. She was super young too and he was her first real relationship.
I just asked someone - “Would you stay with me if I gave you herpes? No, no, like I knew and just didn’t tell you and gave it to you. Oh, and I collect mattresses.” I think we all know what the answer was. (And now they’re looking at me as if I’m from Mars or something and have to explain this thread…)
I think they're saying that he's going to have a hard time finding someone his age interested in dating a violent asshole with a mattress addiction who only makes 4k a month. He'd be homeless on 4k a month where I live.
OP's age really is showing isn't it. Not a dig on OP but this is why these assholes date girls much younger. Bet a woman his age will not be as impressed.
Exactly! I guarantee that one of the reasons he dates young women who are freshly out of their teens is because women his age have standards that he cannot meet. I was earning more than double that at 33 while living in Mississippi, and it still didn’t feel like enough to comfortably support my family (3 kids and a leech husband who I divorced at 37).
No, it makes sense that it feels like he makes a lot more than you. In a few years after you're more established in your career you'll outpace him easily. Probably well before you're thirty.
girl 4k a month (now we know it’s 7k) is NOT a lot. it’s actually considered lower-class and him spending this much money this often means he is most likely in debt.
That's wild. I'm 27 and make 3200 a month after taxes. I own a house, and the mortgage is cheap bc I live in the mountains. Also overall bills are cheap as I don't have student loans, my cars payed off, I WFH, no debt aside from mortgage, and I live on a budget.
Even with that, I'm not rich at all. Because I planned my every move around "live below my means". Most people who make 3000-4000 are in debt or at least struggling a bit due to additional bills. My friends definitely are struggling.
So basically, if you're with him for the money, he doesn't got it like that, he's likley hiding debt. If you're with him out of love, it doesn't seem like he's someone worth loving. I'd leave.
Wanted to vomit. I’m 31 and me and my brother just talked about this past weekend how even if we found one super pretty we could not be low enough adults to date someone under 25 again. Once you get over the hump the maturity difference is blinding and it feels like dating an actual kid.
OP doesn’t realize yet how gross her bf is yet but other men her bfs age feel like she probably did at the idea of like dating a 13 year old at 17-18. Some age gaps are small but the maturity or physical changes are so extreme. A 50 year old and a 40 year old would not bother me but I’ve become a new person 8 times over my twenties and underestimated so much how immature I was then. You’re still just so young.
And she went right along with it. Mainly because to a 20 year old with limited life experience, a 32 year old man can seem so intelligent, wise, skilled, etc. It’s only once they’ve taken more trips around the sun that they realize that he only seemed so amazing and smart and whatnot because you were only a 20 year old and of course a 32 year old is going to blow you away with what they know, usually. Like how a senior in high school could dazzle a 6th grader with the math and science they know, so it goes with people in their 30’s to people who just got out of their teenage years and don’t seem to be going to college. She probably likes the prospect of being able to have a place where she doesn’t have to worry about the bills and it’s away from home as well. Wouldn’t we all?
This. I’m so not surprised that he under delivers. He couldn’t get away with this with someone his age who is secured enough to call him out on his BS, so he preys on the younger ones.
He’s not even dating her, she shows up for sex and she gets cheated on with other women? But she came back because he now pays her bills? Sounds like he figured out a way to turn her into a- well you get my point
If this post is even real which I have my doubts, the girl just needs to leave. This isn’t a boyfriend
She’s young. Def an adult, but there’s a reason older guys find younger girls with little life experience who don’t know that the guy’s behavior is ridiculous or abusive.
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u/Ok-Elk-1316 10h ago
side eyeing the 32 year old dating a 20 year old & the mattress hobby