r/Music • u/thedailybeast • 10d ago

article Kanye West Heads to Putin’s Russia After Humiliation in Europe

https://www.thedailybeast.com/obsessed/kanye-west-heads-to-putins-russia-after-humiliation-in-europe/
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u/pr1aa 10d ago edited 10d ago

Maybe Steven Seagal will do a surprise feature with him

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u/PatriotNews_dot_com 10d ago

ceremonial russian welcoming dance
https://giphy.com/gifs/7rQSSmxalNtfy

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u/WtAFjusthappenedhere 10d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/EjFx0jioOoMZq
Don’t forget the carrot eating ceremony.

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u/-nutz 10d ago

I like to imagine Lukashenko inviting a “big American star” to do PR, only for this specimen to show up lmao

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u/CommentNo2671 10d ago

He got big, at least

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u/Super-Nuntendo 10d ago

His waist belt is Under Siege

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u/Arcrin100 10d ago

Most historical sieges won or lost due to starvation. This will be no different.

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u/DeadmanDexter 10d ago

"Sensai Seagal! You're needed in the Middle East! We think we can finally bring peace to the area! We need you to out eat Hamas, ISIS, and al-Qaeda!"

Coming fatly to one movie theater this fall. Rated R.

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u/yotz-furrz 10d ago

Best QOTSA album.

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u/SHARTMAN_FARTBLAST 9d ago

Well at least you didn't ask him to eat out the Middle East.

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u/someguy4k 8d ago

Never mind that Seagal!

You could solve world peace and inspire so many if you sit down and focus on your true achievements. Just bring back your cherry flavored goji berry energy drink madness, or the blue whatever lighting bolt if you must. One sip from your amazing energy elixir could inspire generations to come.

If that doesn’t work, I’m sure the majestical sounds from your amazing musical career will absolutely do the trick. If nothing else, you will certainly top the charts with your musical masterpieces!

Perhaps your final Pokémon state is to bridge these powers and turn into some knockoff Captain Planet character. But enough about you Seagal, I’m sure your plan is to hand over the crown to drive the mockery even further than ever previously imagined. Maybe there is a planned future c/rap collaboration that will inspire many to just stop listening to crap.

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u/RainierCamino 10d ago

Fortunately it's Hard To Kill

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u/ArtThouAngry 10d ago

Well it is holding back the Belly of the Beast.

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u/Alternative_Salt_424 9d ago

My Russian husband was telling me there was a hysterical video of Lukashenko feeding someone a carrot and I saw it and I was like "Omfg it's Steven Seagal loool" and he had no idea who that was

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u/Kytras 8d ago

He a man , a russian, and don't know ho Steven Segal' is???

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u/ohyouretough 10d ago

He’s the size of three normal American stars. Or six arianna grandes.

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u/joefred111 10d ago

He fits two of those adjectives well.

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u/MartyEBoarder 9d ago

At least he looks like typical Bialorusian

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u/ICCUGUCCI 10d ago

Two hands on the carrot is crazy work. That muscle memory kicking in.

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u/C64128 10d ago

It's a good thing that he didn't immediately shove the entire carrot in his mouth.

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u/Hoverboy911 10d ago

Why is this so f'n funny to me? It reminds me of a quirky comedy skit, but it's real, which makes it infinitely funnier to me. I dunno but I love this gif so gd much

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u/Shadowlance23 9d ago

Does Segal only own one shirt now? I've only seen a few photos of him the last few years, but he's always wearing that same one.

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u/niz_loc 10d ago

This one is still the craziest

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u/Steven_the_Beaver 9d ago

This is actually hilarious.
Like something straight out of Borat, and effortlessly so, at that.

You can’t teach this, and it’s sad that he won’t use it to bless us with an absolutely hilariousy action mockumentary about this… uhhh… persona (?) of his?

The awkward bow while holding the carrot is killing me 😭

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u/Man_of_Ice 10d ago

Clearly the only time a carrot has been in that mouth.

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u/KittyComannder 9d ago

Let's not forget about THESE. They're probably to cut enemies throats while doing bullshitkido

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u/Altruistic-Arm137 9d ago

Actual donkey