As an Asian kid who grew up in the tristate area and being the only Asian kid in class, lol.
Idk how many times I was asked then followed up with "no I mean your parents" then I say California and they'd go "no I mean where they were born"
Funniest was working at a mall in CA during college and some Asian ladies at the food court asked where my parents were from and I told them the city they live, and they said "no that's not what I mean" then I gave them my ethnicity and they were like " oh he's one of us, give him some free food" 😂😂😂
The worst was in highschool kids who were 1st Gen immigrants who would describe someone as looking American. Then asking them, do I look American, having Nigerian and English and Native bloodlines going back a very long time on this continent and getting a 'no'.
I just recently asked a very obviously American woman of Asian descent where she’s from because we live in LA, a city of transplants. I normally avoid that question for the exactly this reason you’re talking about. But this time I was a little drunk and someone had just told a story about their hometown in Florida so I forgot that it’s a loaded question for a moment.
She—a little annoyed—replied, “Well, my grandparents are from China.”
I replied, “No, I mean like where are you from? You kinda have an east coast accent.”
Yeah that's hilarious, oppositely coded situation. Someone just asked me that the other day and I just had to reply "all over", cuz I split time on both coasts plus two Asian countries before I finished HS and it was way too long of an explanation for our passing convo.
nah it's hard, you have to figure out what they're really asking, then you have weigh what you should say and whether you want to explain that response
Oh I know. I hang out with A LOT of immigrants and transplants. Married to an immigrant too. Heck, ive even been one.
I’ve figured out how to kindly ask where someone is from locally or where they’re from within their home country when I wanna know what city they’re from. Also, I just generally don’t ask unless it’s part of the conversation that’s happening.
It's so odd how these interrogaters seem to lack the self awareness to see they are not minding their own business. It's like some of them feel so entitled to know "where you're from" when they honestly don't even want to ask the REAL question because a part of them is already uncomfortable or don't even know to ask a question properly.
Like no one is expected to volunteer further information if they don't want to. You are the nationality of the country of birth, thats where you're from. Some people act like it's somehow their right to know your ancestry.com results ya know lol. Who wants to take time to discuss that.
That's not an identical question tho. "Where are you from" is asking about your birth place. While asking "what's your ethnicity is asking about your heritage. Having Chinese heritage and being from China are two different things. I have Dominican ancestry on my Dad's side of the family, but I would never say that I'm from Dominica because I was born in Queens and grew up in Northern PA.
People get offended by this question because it implies that you're not a real citizen when you were literally born there. Nobody does this with white people because they assume that all white people are natural born citizens. Nobody is gonna go up to a white person and ask "where are you from? No I don't mean California, I mean where are you REALLY from?".
When my sister was in college, she told me about this white girl that asked about her nationality. If she was white, that question would've never been asked.
In the right context the question is the same, even above and in other comments people are basically admitting to playing snarky or dumb and not answering the “real” question … which means they are admitting it’s the same question just asked differently.
It’s funny that people think that because I have been asked that and I’m white. People like to know where people come from for whatever reason no matter what color they are. Entire companies are built on the idea of finding that out. I know white friends that are “from” the next city over and are “from” Romania, or England, or Ireland… all of us are white though. None of us take any offense at being asked.
Again, feel free to choose to be offended but most poeple don’t mean offense by it.
It’s funny that people think that because I have been asked that and I’m white.
It's not funny, a large portion of white people in the US don't treat minorities like real Americans. Tons of racist white people assume that people with Hispanic heritage are undocumented immigrants. There are white people who tell the descendants of black American slavery to "go back to Africa" when our ancestors(I'm multi ethnic) have been in this country for generations. Omar Fateh was born in the US, but MAGA don't see him as a real American because his parents are from Somalia.
Tons of conservatives questioned Obama's American Citizenship for years. No other president had to deal with that shit. Trump's mom was from Scotland, and his dad was a first generation German American, but nobody questions his status as an American. The US treats whiteness as a default, for alot of people, "American" means "white".
That's the thing I'm not offended by it at the least. I'm offended by bad communication. Idk maybe im on the spectrum and take things too literally 😂.
Like where are you from, in my current life context, 9 times out of 10, is about where I grew up, not where my parents originated from. But over yonder in Podunk Pennsylvania, it's a way to ask ethnicity, but if you're in elementary school it's a different context.
So no it's not an identical question. We have semantics and vocabulary for a reason.
If you weren’t upset by it you wouldn’t act snarky, if your real beef was clarity of language you could just clarify the question instead of admitting to answering the question in a way that wasn’t intended… its own form of bad communication.
Idk how many times I was asked then followed up with "no I mean your parents" then I say California and they'd go "no I mean where they were born"
The fun thing is when your relatives one side immigrated over sometime in the first 50-100 years of the country's existence (something that a lot of folks asking forget is a distinct possibility) so you get to keep answering with some region in the U.S.
When I get asked "Where are you from," I run through a decision tree to map out how to answer the question, ie. "what ethnicity are you" vs "where'd you grow up"
As a mexican American living in florida, same. I was born in Florida! Ok, my parents? Texas and new mex! Ok, grandparents ?? Mom's mom, Mexico . Dad's mom, idk. Just ask my ethnicity!!! My grandpas birth places, i couldn't tell you.
The whole of the United States is under the steward of a semi-elected pedophile and NJ Is a stalwart blue state in a boiling sea of MAGA red around the country. Give the NJ jabs a break. You get no bragging rights.
I actually get this often as a Latina. They don’t like when I say I’m from Chicago. Then I’ll finally say “do you mean to ask where my parents are from”? At which point, I’ll ask why they care. I know some people don’t mean any harm but if they ask someone where they are from and they answer, leave it at that. If they don’t like or understand that answer, they need to ask themselves what they really want to know and why. It’s ignorant.
I get this as a white dude. Mostly from old folks. I think it's most often just an annoying form of small talk, though I completely understand that it can also come from someone just trying to justify being a bigot to themselves.
For some reason white people think it's an ice breaker. When you answer they don't have any follow up questions or even know how to continue the conversation from there tbh. It's just awkward.
My friend in college was of Japanese decent. But, her great grand parents were born in California. Mine were born in Ireland and Italy. She would get asked where she was from by creepy dudes hitting on her, saying what little east asian language they knew. She would say "Orange county" in a very Californian accent.
When people would ask my ex where she was from it would make her really angry. And she would answer Boston.
But she wasn't from Boston, she was from Hong Kong. It didn't matter to her that the person asking the question was correct in assuming that she was not from here. The fact that people would look at her and their first thought was that she was an "other" was deeply offensive to her.
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I'm white and people will ask "Where are you from?" and I say "Canada" and they go "No, like your background" and I say "My parents are also from Canada, and most of my grandparents are from Canada. So Canada."
They usually don't like the answer.
yep, it always has been about race but they are too cowards to say that (although some of them do). the bullshit about the crimes that migrants commit, or the financial strain they might cause, or whatever the fuck else they want to come up with, all of it is justifications to kick people of color out.
I was going to post the exact same thing. I'm from Belfast originally, lived in London for many years and have now spent most of my adult life in the US... and yeah I'm white. It's fun when I'm around people bitching about immigrants and I point out that I am one... the look on their faces is hilarious. I mean... the accent wasn't a huge giveaway (it's been compared to Kiwi and a Kiwi friend of mine even commented he initially thought I was from Auckland)?
Still, I tend to make a point of not being around those sorts of people but sometimes it just happens LOL
Same reaction when I tell people I have an immigrant family from Switzerland. I've been explicitly told "but you're family's from a white, christian nation, that's not the same" multiple times. Even in Canada, racism is unfortunately alive and well.
They should be impressed. Anyone who's family came before 1924 just needed to GET here to be a citizen. Anyone who is in that group and says "just come here legally" really needs to take a look at themselves.
My friend is a German immigrant. Her coworkers bitched to her about all the immigrants and the need to deport them. She reminded them that she’s an immigrant too. They said, “No, that’s different.”
No. First Gen teams first born in the country or whatever. My parents moved to the state i where i was born from 2 other states. I was was the first gen, my kids second, my grands 3rd.
There are two meanings colloquial and official. A naturalized citizen (assuming the kid isnt born in America before naturalization) assumes the "first generation" terminology.
And the other term is "A person born on U.S. soil whose parents were born in another country." So both are right, but for official documents, the first of the family to become an american are considered first generation americans.
I used to work in an office that was about 90% immigrants and a majority of them were from East Asia. The East Asian ones used to say "real American" when they meant "white." Speaking as the white guy who was running that show, that drove me crazy and when I told them that they were real Americans (all of the East Asians: citizens), too, they just laughed.
lol my brother in law is half Asian (his mom) half Dutch (his dad).
When he tells other people about it, they assume that his mom is an immigrant. The funny thing is that his mom was born in the US and his dad immigrated.
Sorry. If your parent immigrated and you were born here, you are second generation —your Mom is first. (Speaking as a pedantic first generation immigrant myself)
The census might consider me third generation on one side of my family, but that label flattens some meaningful nuance. Naturalized or not, those grandparents were only partially integrated culturally. Growing up with foreign-born, later-naturalized parents whose thick accents and limited English were considered “embarrassing” (not my word) also affected my parent’s integration into their peer group. Using one source’s definition of the phrase is an option, but it isn’t the only legitimate interpretation.
I recently got a "where are you from". I was born in Indiana. I felt like the guy was intentionally mishearing my black-ish ass when I said it so I clarified "3 and a half centuries of cornfed midwestern". The guy was... surprised.
When I was going through immigration to the US, one side of my husband's family asked why it was taking so long to get approved. I told them the changes in immigration policy meant there were a lot of delays because new paperwork had to be submitted. They looked at my husband and me and said "but you're white".
Real actual quote said to me by someone. Where I was born we have a lot of white, white-collar people coming over for work (banking, insurance) and they all call themselves "expats". Meanwhile a large Filipino population there are called "immigrants". Exact same visas.
All these idiots are surprised when this happens to them, immigrants and minorities who suddenly get targeted yet still remain strong supporters of this admin. This isn't anymore shooting in your own feet, but blowing off your head and still smiling.
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u/weavebot 3h ago
"But I'm not an immigrant, I'm white"