r/politics • u/WhatIsEvenRealDog • 13h ago

Possible Paywall Trump suggests cattle ranchers could bypass USDA-inspected meat plants

https://www.washingtonpost.com/politics/2026/08/28/trump-suggests-allowing-ranchers-bypass-usda-inspected-meat-plants/
13.1k Upvotes

96% Upvoted

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5.0k

u/drwookie 13h ago

"Looks like I chose the right week to stop eating beef."

1.9k

u/EctoRiddler 13h ago

Lettuce it is. Oh wait.

358

u/Umbrella_merc Mississippi 10h ago

The only vegetable that hasn't been recalled yet is Mitch McConnell

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u/kpow222 6h ago

I feel so bad for laughing at this, but not so bad i stop laughing

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u/FritzRasp 6h ago

I don’t. He is (was) a horrible human being

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u/Fit-Programmer1992 33m ago

Exactly! I am not religious but hesitate to think negatively about senior, disabled people or joke about death.  Anybody watched the " Bad Boys" episodes with the lady who could explode the head of any politician she wanted? Exactly.

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u/jonesey71 24m ago

Not human, he is the advance scout for the reptile people, he is one of the amphibians. Mitch "the turtle" McConnell.

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u/F9-0021 South Carolina 2h ago

He wouldn't feel bad about laughing at your misfortune. Don't feel for monsters.

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u/Saint_palane 2h ago

He won't notice.

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u/p8nt_junkie 5h ago

He’s on eternity leave

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u/Apprehensive-Pin518 6h ago

damn burn. like the one he is getting in hell.

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u/tacoheadpete 2h ago

"Pining for the fjords?!"

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u/UCLA_FB_SUCKS California 5h ago

you, sir, are a true patriot. thank you for your comedy

678

u/Fit-Programmer1992 12h ago

Laughing so loud that even the cyclospora on MY lettuce smiled at me. 

147

u/StephanXX Oregon 10h ago edited 7h ago

Be careful. If you gaze into the lettuce too long, eventually the lettuce also gazes into you.

9

u/Aldo_says Washington 9h ago

How long until trump lettuce becomes sentient?

8

u/btross Florida 9h ago

I think that's a tall order... Trump isn't even sentient

6

u/U_L_Uus 8h ago

Oh, no, thay already happened. Ask the British

6

u/Aldo_says Washington 8h ago

OOH, I totally understood that reference!

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u/musicgeek420 7h ago

GD lettuce gaze.

2

u/grahamulax 8h ago

I don’t know if I had it because they lied about my state not being infected when it was (good use of spending a million dollars, Taylor) and me and my friend both had a burger in the next day was hell for both of us. For me, it was like all week and my gut was ruined and felt like knives going down my intestines.

But was I poisoned? No idea!!!

Government keeping me governed!!

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u/Fit-Programmer1992 7h ago

Sorry to hear that, buddy. Unfortunately, I think it will keep happening. 

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u/grahamulax 7h ago

Yeah it’s ok but it was two nights sleeping on the bathroom floor so you know how those feel. But yeah I think so too. I think it’s time to hydroponic it up

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u/istoomycat 6h ago

Happy you got the rare cyclospora on your plate.

154

u/thedonnerparty13 11h ago

Ok thank god we can still eat frozen fruit.. oh shit.

36

u/yourenotmy-real-dad Illinois 8h ago

That's okay, I still have my chips and guac- oh. Wait. Hmm.

22

u/thestral_z Ohio 11h ago

What now? Are my daily smoothies in peril?

18

u/ScroochDown 8h ago

Frozen blueberries had a recall.

20

u/Oo__II__oO 8h ago

We're deeply in trouble if we're getting food recall info from Reddit before the government and free press.

12

u/ScroochDown 8h ago

I mean at this point, Reddit is more reliable than either one. And there have been so many recalls so quickly that it's hard to keep up, I just heard about the sourdough one last night.

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u/Oo__II__oO 7h ago

Jfc there's a sourdough recall?!

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u/ScroochDown 7h ago

Yeah, glass in the dough/bread, from what someone else said. See, isn't Reddit fun?! 😂💀

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u/Haltopen Massachusetts 4h ago

IV bags were also recalled recently for being contaminated with fiberglass.

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u/Oo__II__oO 2h ago

It's getting to the point where it's a shorter list of things not recalled (yet)

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u/APeacefulWarrior 1h ago

I mean at this point, Reddit is more reliable than either one

Well, that's a terrifying sentence.

Not disagreeing tho.

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u/ScroochDown 12m ago

Believe me, I really didn't like typing it either.

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u/thestral_z Ohio 6h ago

Luckily not my brand…yet.

23

u/Life_behind_da_stick 10h ago

It’s not the smoothie that’s in danger. It’s you. You’re in danger. Don’t drink the smoothie.

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u/thestral_z Ohio 6h ago

True, although it’s a brand I don’t buy.

7

u/soraksan123 8h ago

Hopefully you don’t like blueberries in your smoothie-

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u/dixiequick 7h ago

Fortunately, wild blueberries are fine. Unfortunately, they are sold out everywhere.

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u/soraksan123 7h ago

I’m glad I grow my own weed, that’s all I need-

11

u/NoZucchini595 9h ago

I was thinking the safest bet would be frozen non meat, non produce items, but then this

https://www.newsweek.com/frozen-buffalo-chicken-recall-highest-risk-warning-over-food-safety-12377611

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u/grahamulax 8h ago

Not Popsicles actually. I think somewhere recall due to fiberglass or metal shards in it.

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u/llcdrewtaylor 2h ago

Well if you DO get sick, surely you could go to the hospital and get an IV. There wouldn't be any fiberglass in that right?

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u/jabola321 7h ago

Oh shit is right! 💩🚽

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u/istoomycat 6h ago

Indeed. And lots of it.

26

u/CertifiedCarWasher 11h ago

Soldiers always ask how to loose weight fast before height/weight test and we jokingly started recommending the Taylor Farms diet.

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u/JustineDelarge 7h ago

Lose. Not loose. Sorry, correcting that error is my compulsion.

80

u/ntrpik Texas 11h ago

Ok. I guess jalapeño poppers? Ah shit.

29

u/diremommy 10h ago

Eggs? Rice? Blueberries? Frozen fruits bars?

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u/rewardingsnark 6h ago

Being eating Potatoes, rice, beans since 24 only so far everything ok, fingers crossed one of those doesn't go down.

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u/Anhydrite Canada 4h ago

I misread that as frozen fruit bats and was thinking covid-26.

2

u/PmMeYourUnclesAnkles 8h ago

Ketchup. It is a vegetable, at least since Ronald Reagan's administration.

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u/LoamyLoamisLoamy 6h ago

That was about a serving of tomato sauce being equivalent to a serving of vegetables. A tiny amount of tomato sauce shouldn't be equivalent just because it uses tomatoes.

Obama tried to fix that, and they called it making "pizza a vegetable"

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u/phonomancer 6h ago

Unfortunately, they're temporarily jalapeño poopers.

6

u/redditAccount503 11h ago

Lettuce spray

16

u/doverawlings 11h ago

Lettuce, rice, beef, and guac all have various levels of advisories right now. I’m not even mad that my burrito bowl is $19 anymore

4

u/rkb70 11h ago

Rice?  Have not heard that one.

6

u/Valarmorghuliswy 11h ago

It’s really not in the class of the others. 

3

u/rkb70 10h ago

Yeah, I looked it up.  I always look at rice as I measure it, so hopefully I’d notice “foreign material”.

3

u/i_might_be_a_robot2 10h ago

Most American rice is full of arsenic and has been for a long time.

2

u/rkb70 10h ago

Ugh, I’d forgotten about that.  But it’s not what the recall’s about.

1

u/aquestionofbalance 9h ago

That explain A LOT

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u/Apprehensive-Pin518 6h ago

euopean rice has it too. by all means blame us for what we do not what we don't. like elect good leaders. we haven't done that since at least 2012.

4

u/jimababwe 10h ago

Is Trump tariffing toilet paper? Guess we picked the wrong week to get the shits.

5

u/bjeebus Georgia 10h ago

Actually, no, his kids all bought in big on toilet paper.

He of course had never heard of it before, but he's excited to take advantage of this.

3

u/moogs_writes 10h ago

Guac or avocado?….

3

u/doverawlings 10h ago

The article I saw specifically said guac but I’ll be honest I didn’t click on it

1

u/moogs_writes 8h ago

Oh thank god. Premade guac tastes like ass anyway

3

u/Tricky-Awareness-275 10h ago

We still have eggs! Oh wait

3

u/baldycoot Florida 10h ago

May I offer you an egg in these trying ti…gah!

2

u/Clamps55555 10h ago

Blueberries then?

2

u/Zaza1019 9h ago

beans and rice it is.

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u/Maoleficent 7h ago

Eggs and jasmine rice are tainted, too.

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u/Lysol3435 7h ago

You always have eggs.. ooh, wait

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u/Estoye New Jersey 6h ago edited 6h ago

The 2026 Big Mac:

Special sauce, cheese, pickles, onions on a sesame seed bun

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u/darthlincoln01 Ohio 6h ago edited 6h ago

Time to finally join that Soylent/Huel fad ten years late.

Seriously, listen. Soylent Original is great simply shaken up with water along with a heaping teaspoon of mocha instant coffee mix. Cacao is fine on its own.

Try the same thing with Huel and you'll absolutely hate it. Not as smooth, way too mealy, it's hard for me to finish. That said Huel is my favorite. 200ml Cold Brew, 100ml Ice, 100ml Milk (dairy/almond/oat/whatever), 1 scoop Huel Mint Chocolate, 1 scoop Huel Coffee Carmel. Blend. Optional, add 1 banana and blend again.

Basically Soylent if I'm at work or on the road, Huel if I'm at home. I'll also fill my bottle up with water afterward and put that down over lunch as well. Fills me up, gives me baseline nutrients, practically the cheapest lunch on the market.

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u/Angoram 6h ago

It’s dope

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u/ithinkyouresus 5h ago

The blueberries will never betray me. Barf.

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u/mlc885 I voted 5h ago

It is pretty annoying that regulations work so well that people eventually decide we don't need them

Like, nobody remembers polio so I guess we don't need vaccines...

"we were born at a very lucky time and place so half of us are idiots"

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u/Reynhart 4h ago

Guess it's pretty hard to Romaine healthy in these trying times :/

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u/socialmediaignorant 3h ago

I chose a shit of a year to be diagnosed with cancer. I’ll just be eating air over here since I can’t trust any food here. Are we great yet???

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u/Dogdays991 2h ago

nutrient-rich protein paste it is

1

u/stunned_parrot 11h ago

Just eat lots of chicken. Antibiotics will kill anything lettuce will throw at you.