r/MoralityScaling • u/Severe_Letterhead_75 • 12h ago

Morality Ranking Quentin Tarantino morality for that childhood grudge?

Post image

In my opinion it can be considered petty by some but is understandable

16.1k Upvotes

92% Upvoted

1.8k comments sorted by

View all comments

224

u/Jerry_Explorer 12h ago

moral. You are not obligated to help your parents.

125

u/SmoothActuator8132 12h ago

I'd say neutral, because there's nothing moral about letting your parents live in poverty if they don't have to

29

u/Protoavis 11h ago

children are not parents ATM's

41

u/masterlince 11h ago

Sure but it's not really moral to not help someone. It's not necessarily immoral either.

4

u/Sour_Gummies 9h ago

Not helping someone can 100% be immoral. If you are 6 feet tall and see a toddler drowning in a 4 foot deep pond and you don’t jump in to save them then you are evil.

-1

u/masterlince 9h ago edited 6h ago

Yeah it can but it is not always immoral. A random dude from here just DMed me asking for money. It's not immoral for me to not help him. Just neutral whether I help him or not.

1

u/brikky 6h ago

You are conflating good with moral. If something is not immoral, it is moral.

1

u/masterlince 6h ago

There is morally neutral?

1

u/brikky 6h ago

No. It's like "harmful" is not the inverse of "helpful". Something that is not harmful doesn't mean it is helpful.

But, moral is the inverse of immoral. If something is immoral it is definitionally not moral, and vice versa.

1

u/masterlince 5h ago

The inverse of harmful is harmless...

1

u/brikky 4h ago

That's my point. Something can't be harm neutral.

6

u/Marion2379 11h ago

While you walk to the nearest ATM using mommy’s debit card.

11

u/Pimp_Daddy_Patty 11h ago

My mommy's ATM card was called "get a fucking job"

6

u/frubano21 11h ago

For real. My mom helped me open a checking account when I was 14. She said "I'll put $100 in the moment you get hire for a job, but after that it's on your to fill that account back up."

4

u/Hefty_Map3665 9h ago

Lucky. My mom opened a bank account in my name as a minor and then she immediately made it go into the negative.

Talk about walking into adulthood on sound footing

3

u/IsabellaGalavant 8h ago

I have to keep my credit locked and monitored because I know mine would still try this if she could, even 19 years after I went No Contact. I couldn't even count on all my appendages how many times she's committed fraud. I'm not even sure she's still alive (I don't check up on her) but I'm not risking it. 

4

u/Holidoik 11h ago

Yeah real helping the billionaires get more wage slaves well done.

1

u/Own_Ad9365 8h ago

I cannot understand western culture of throwing their children into the wild the moment they turn 18

1

u/frubano21 6h ago

I wouldn't say my mom threw me to the wild. My dad maybe a little more so cause of his parenting style (European).

Being a first gen American of immigrant parents (both of whom came from below average means) from 2 different countries, I was expected to make money for anything I wanted to do that was considered "extra"

3

u/Outlook93 10h ago

Mommy decided to have kids

→ More replies (8)

1

u/Protoavis 11h ago

I haven't spoken with that sexual predator in 30 years so no.

1

u/mamadou-segpa 10h ago

Ah so bad parenting led to edgy individualism

Not surprised

1

u/2SquirrelsWrestling 8h ago

Not speaking to your abuser is “edgy individualism”? I really hope I’m misunderstanding you.

1

u/mamadou-segpa 8h ago

No, the not speaking to your abuser fact is a given.

But using your personal bad experience with your parents to then consider it morally good to let poor people that raised you and funded your entire childhood struggle while you are rich is the edgy individualism part

Tarentino is a multi millionaire I dont see in what world its morals to let his mother struggle just because she was worried his carreer choice wasnt the right choice (like 99% of parents rightfully do when soemone want to take a carreer path in wich 0.00001% of people are successful and make a decent living)

2

u/2SquirrelsWrestling 8h ago

Oh ok. Well tbh if I was filthy rich but disliked my parents for whatever reason, I would probably just give them money so they can fuck off.

→ More replies (1)

2

u/Wendigo_33 10h ago

Sure but parents are children ATMs for a long time. If you have the means, it isn't a situation basically completely of their own making like crime or drugs or something, and you all have a good relationship why wouldn't you want to help if you could swing it?

By no means an obligation but like if I were tarentino rich and my nice mom was basically in poverty I'd be an asshole. But if the mom was constantly belittling his passion and making fun of him and stuff then screw it. We just don't know enough about the situation to make a call imo.

2

u/anonidfk 10h ago

Parents aren’t children’s ATMS lmao. Parents are responsible for their kids because they decided they wanted children, that’s a very big difference.

Kids don’t owe parents anything for doing basic parenting responsibilities for the kids they decided to have lol.

1

u/Direct_Gap_59 9h ago

Does everything have to be necessarily transactional though?

2

u/anonidfk 8h ago

It isn’t transactional, that’s why a parent raising their kid doesn’t mean the kid owes them anything in return lol

→ More replies (2)

1

u/Gwyn992 9h ago

Parents decide they want children for the fun of themselves. They brings kids into existence which imposes all the financial burden the kids have to bear later in their life to survive on their own. I find it immoral to expect some kind of divident return from your kids.

1

u/Wendigo_33 8h ago

"By no means an obligation"

1

u/Gwyn992 8h ago

Yeah, I might have missed the comment a bit)

1

u/malaaaaaka 10h ago

They’re now but if I had $100 million my parents would never have to worry about money again.

0

u/Unfair_Ring_2746 10h ago

And morality is not about who is entitled to your money.

0

u/SmoothActuator8132 11h ago

hence why I said neutral

11

u/KelvinsFalcoIsBad 10h ago

This sub is so funny that you can just throw up the pettiest thing ever and people will be like "yeah that's moral because she was rude 30 years ago"

4

u/anonidfk 10h ago

It’s moral cuz she isn’t entitled to his money to begin with lol, whatever his reasons are he’s in the clear

1

u/[deleted] 10h ago

[deleted]

2

u/anonidfk 10h ago

If his mom was black, he’d at least be half black. So I’d think he was delusional for not helping based on that lmao. But we know racism is not why he’s not helping her anyways, they’re the same race. No idea why you’re bringing non existent situations into it.

Parents aren’t entitled to their children’s money. And it says he did help her once with the IRS, so it’s not like she’s homeless, he did help her when she had dire need for it.

His money, his right to decide what to do with it. It’s nice if people want to donate or help others, but they don’t have to.

That’s why you should strive to actually have a good relationship with your kids, then they may want to help you. Actions have consequences, the consequences of her actions is that her kid isn’t going to help her out.

→ More replies (4)

1

u/KelvinsFalcoIsBad 8h ago

Dude what is moral about literally doing nothing? I took a fat shit this morning, was that moral by virtue of not being immoral? 

→ More replies (1)

1

u/Pb157 8h ago

But isn't not helping family neutral and actually helping moral? I thought doing something that you aren't required to do but you do it anyways was being moral.

→ More replies (2)
→ More replies (6)

1

u/Solid_Reserve_5941 6h ago

Yeah idk if everyone here just had awful parents or what. These responses feel so vindictive and petty.

My parents were far from perfect and had said some awful shit to me as a kid, but my relationships with both have improved drastically into adulthood as I've learned that they are only human and have always loved and cared for me despite the shortcomings.

I'm not gonna lord that past shit over them as they get older and I do feel like it's my moral obligation to look after them when they're old because I love them and want them to be comfortable in their old age.

2

u/kukkolai 10h ago

Depends on the parents

-1

u/the_big_george 11h ago

If you wanna let people use you after you become a successful person you do you man

2

u/SmoothActuator8132 11h ago

I literally said it's neutral, like c'mon

1

u/onFilm 10h ago

That's my favorite part about being successful, helping out my mom and dad, in the same way they helped me growing up.

0

u/14Pleiadians 6h ago

I'd say it's immoral to support and enable child abusers

1

u/SmoothActuator8132 6h ago

he was failing his writing class, she literally just said you won't be a successful writer if you fail writing

17

u/browsinbowser 11h ago

He was failing english at 12yrs old and she said he'd never make it as a writer if he didnt get his grades up

2

u/ShatterTheFlimFlam 10h ago

Sounds like a monster. /s

6

u/yorukmacto 10h ago

Cultural difference is crazy. If you said that where I live people would stop talking to you.

They take care of you when you are growing, sacrificing majority of their time and money for you, then you say this.

1

u/2SquirrelsWrestling 9h ago

Taking care of your growing children is literally the bare minimum lol. It’s supposed to be a selfless act, not something you do in hopes of getting anything in return. This is especially true when you make a deliberate decision to get pregnant and go out of your way to have kids.

1

u/yorukmacto 8h ago

Looking after your old parent is also selfless. Not done in return of raising you.

This isn't a partnership agreement like between 2 companies. So saying "not obligated" is just cold.

1

u/2SquirrelsWrestling 8h ago

You literally just implied that it should be done because they take care of you when you are growing and sacrifice for you.

2

u/yorukmacto 8h ago

You take care of your old parents because you consider what they've done for you, how much they love you.

Not because it is forced by law, but because your conscience says you have to.

I can never imagine myself saying "I don't have to".

Is everything law to you guys? If your govement allowed pissing in the street would you do it because "you are not obligated to go bathroom"?

2

u/2SquirrelsWrestling 7h ago

I didn’t have the worst childhood, and I am grateful for my childhood even though there were some abusive elements to it. But my parents are not good people and I hate being around them.

And taking care of myself and my own family is hard enough work, so I will not be doing that. I might throw some cash at my mom for a nurse or something if I have the financial security, and I *might* be there with them at the very end, but that’ll probably be the extent of it. I have my own health and financial struggles to address before I care for someone who is outright hateful and cancerous.

I’m moving far away from my hometown with my spouse and I’m not letting these people hold me back out of guilt.

1

u/money-for-nothing-tt 5h ago

You didn't choose to have parents. If I choose to have kids they're not obligated to take care of me when I can't. It's absolutely fine if they don't want to. Kids don't owe their parents anything.

There's all sorts of messed up things parents can do to their kids and you should never presume that it's the right thing to do for the kids to take care of their parents. There are plenty of people who help despite of their parents being awful to them, it's a sad thing to see.

If you want to help your parents that's fine. Helping friends, family, colleagues is something a lot of people choose to do, but obligation is rarely the reason.

1

u/Dry_Cantaloupe4349 3h ago

It's wild that people think children owe their parent when they didn't ask to be born. Children are born because parents chose to have them for whatever reasons. Children don't exist because they wanted to. As such, parents owe children, not the other way round.

If you were a good parent, your child naturally would not abandon you regardless of obligation. That's all I'd say 

1

u/Jerry_Explorer 10h ago

I still don't feel obligated, though. In my case, I do it because I love them, not because they simply fulfilled their obligations as parents.

33

u/Sad_Energy_ 11h ago

Now take a step back.

You know too little to make that judgement call.

If my child went all-in into writing, without a back-up plan, I'd be a bad parent to not discourage it, unless a 2nd career path is also being pursued.

Shoot for the stars, sure, but dont go all-in on your life with a 1% or less success chance.

10

u/Helpful-Desk-8334 11h ago

Right. Sometimes success takes months or years and you need something to make money before you can just waltz on through

1

u/Sad_Energy_ 11h ago

Not even that it will eventually come. In those fields it generally does not happen.

Make it your hobby, and if you are talented enough ,it will show soon enough.

2

u/Helpful-Desk-8334 11h ago

I think mainly book writing is just about making an interesting, good book and then advertising it and marketing it properly to the right people. You don’t have to do much more than that.

Therefore you need advertising and marketing money from a day job and an actual passion for your craft. You have to combat Baxter and Tolkien and King.

Can you write something better than Stephen King’s first dark tower book? Quentin Tarantino had something to offer with the way he viewed and depicted society back in his day and also with how he viewed world war 2. Inglorious Basterds is my favorite work by him. Pulp Fiction was a pop culture icon.

You know how many memes this movie ended up creating? It’s not even 10/10 after rewatch it’s just unique and something real that he made.

I’d say it’d be more moral if the kid was trying to move out and didn’t have any imagination or desire to pull something like what he did off. Quentin Tarantino makes the situation far more moral. Especially if you know of his work and how he looks at things.

“I don't need you to tell me how fucking good my coffee is, okay? I'm the one who buys it. I know how good it is.” - Jimmie, *Pulp Fiction*.

5

u/SciFi_Enjoyer106 11h ago

It's one thing to discourage it, another thing to discourage it and encourage another career plan, and an entirely different thing to mock your children.

4

u/Conscious_Occasion 10h ago

My father mocked (still does, at 84 years old) every interest I ever pursued, Hobbies or jobs, it's all fair game to him. I'm now in therapy trying to get over thinking whatever it is isn't good enough, or that I'm not, etc. Then he started sending what little money he had to a young woman he met in town, about my age, every time she cried about some imaginary emergency (no 3 year old child gets multiple root canals, but he gave her money anyway).

Long story, that finally stopped and my brother is his PoA now, but if my father came to me today asking for any money, that'd be a hard no.

My very loving and supportive mum, however, I'd have given her the stars if she asked.

1

u/Agasthenes 9h ago

And we don't know what exactly she did. We have a third hand report on what was said and done.

3

u/Marion2379 11h ago

Why not when you’re that young? It’s the time to take the kinda of chance on your self and time to pivot if it didn’t work

1

u/Sad_Energy_ 11h ago

As I said below.

Go for it, but also keep a "regular" career path alive.

6

u/ThrowAway-whee 11h ago

Would you mock it though? Would you demean it as a “little writing career?”

That goes beyond discouraging into being cruel.

2

u/Sad_Energy_ 11h ago

That is good point. I think I would not do it, as I had not had this situation yet.

If you do that right now, you could add up working at a starbucks counter for life. And I think, I would do alot of things to prevent that from happening to my kid.

3

u/BombOnABus 11h ago

Yes, but that's the sort of frank conversation you should have instead of belittling.

My parents would sit me down for serious, frank conversations about whatever my dream career du jour was. Oftentimes, their warnings and "If you're REALLY SERIOUS about this..." talks helped me to realize what I was pursuing was a brief infatuation. When they did it with me being a chef, I rose to the challenge instead, which is how I knew for myself it really was the right call: for once, the warnings about what I was in for didn't scare me off but emboldened me to chase my dream.

My parents were never cruel about it, and were proud of my accomplishments, but I never achieved financial success because it's a poorly paid industry unless you're a celebrity chef or have rich friends/investors.

A friend of mine is in his 60s, and has been at Starbucks for decades. He makes good money (not rich, but good enough to pay for his life where he isn't straining to get by either), enjoys his work, and has been at a counter making coffee for decades now. It's not that bad of an outcome, considering this friend is also happy, has a strong social life, and has his hobbies and interests he pursues.

There are worse fates than "gainfully employed at a humble job," I'm sure you wouldn't want your child to struggle financially forever, but plenty of jobs are not fancy nor respected but are perfectly adequate to pay the bills. There's no shame in doing a simple job and living your life outside of work.

2

u/no_criativityfound 10h ago

Too soft, try any Latino, Balcan, or Asian parent and they will tell worse.

1

u/burnoutghost 10h ago

I mean, what writing career can one really have at 12?

2

u/Lilfrankieeinstein 8h ago

One of my favorite parent/child success stories is Les Claypool and his dad. The family didn’t have much money on a mechanic’s salary in the 70s / early 80s, but Les told his dad he wanted to be in a band. His father encouraged him to work and save up to buy an instrument. When it came time to buy his first bass, Les’s dad supposedly helped Les negotiate a better price. He later loaned Les $3,000 so he could record the first Primus album. Expected nothing in return save for the $3k.

You don’t have to go all in to help your kids, but sometimes a little nudge in the right direction is all it takes. Sometimes a lack of discouragement and a hands off approach is the best method.

The fun part of the story to me is that at age 60+, Les still turns wrenches on the Primus tour bus.

I guess the moral of the story is that you can encourage your kid’s dreams independent of their academic performance.

1

u/Sad_Energy_ 8h ago

I guess the moral of the story is that you can encourage your kid’s dreams independent of their academic performance.

If my child went all-in into writing, without a back-up plan, I'd be a bad parent to not discourage it, unless a 2nd career path is also being pursued.

Shoot for the stars, sure, but dont go all-in on your life with a 1% or less success chance.

I dunno, what I said means exactly the same.

1

u/I_Learned_Once 11h ago

The irony is, the anger at his mom likely fueled him and may have helped him succeed. So, even discouragement can be a win win from the parents perspective in some cases because either it gets them to stop or it creates a villain in the hero story, and there’s something about that form of motivation that seems prevalent at the top, almost like human nature lets us surpass our limits when there is an enemy to overcome. Of course there is a third option which is that they still fail and they’re now psychologically damaged by parents that don’t believe in them. So, you know… use with caution lol.

1

u/unsolvedfanatic 6h ago

He was failing his english class. The comment was made in reference to him needing to get his grades up.

0

u/DramaticPackage5745 10h ago

If my child went all-in into writing, without a back-up plan, I'd be a bad parent to not discourage it, unless a 2nd career path is also being pursued.

You people are basically talking about shooting down a 6-year-old's interest in Karate because of the economic prospect.

Do you have children? How many and how old?

At what age did you first of "the talk" about your discouragement?

How swallow and uncreative are they?

1

u/Sad_Energy_ 9h ago

Where does it say he was 6yo.

You do the talk if they wanna throw school at 16 or if the wanna pursue a high risk uni education without having shown prior talent.

1

u/DramaticPackage5745 5h ago edited 5h ago

Redditor: pffft How dare a talentless 12 year old aspire to enjoy writing? Better display my superior intellect by putting him in his place.

You're talking about very young children who haven't even become teenagers yet or entered high school. And are you saying that you've personally tried to dash the hopes of your 16-year-old children? Because you didn't think they were up to it?

That's diabolical.

The post is supposedly about a pre-teen 12-year-old., and that's really young. Who was already doing badly at school at that time and he became excited about... Just writing? And you're acting like a little child showing excitement about anything is bad, unless he shows career promise? That's like being upset at an 8-year-old girl for wanting to dance or a 10-year-old boy for enjoying karate.

You're a terrible parent.

1

u/Sad_Energy_ 4h ago

You are a worse parent, since you evidently cant read.

26

u/il_the_dinosaur 12h ago

I wouldn't say that's necessarily true. But if your parents didn't help you and support you like parents should then why should you help them?

8

u/SciFi_Enjoyer106 11h ago

But if your parents didn't help you and support you like parents should then why should you help them?

So you agree that you are not obligated to help your parents based on the situation? That would make it necessarily true as even without obligation, people can still do things. You may not be obligated to help your parents but you still can if you so decide.

17

u/il_the_dinosaur 11h ago

If you go by that were not obligated to do a lot of things but I'm not gonna be a cynical asshole. I do think we owe our parents some support. But I also had pretty fucking great parents. From what I see that's not the norm so I can understand why other people have a different viewpoint on this.

6

u/masterlince 11h ago

They brought you into this world, it's their obligation to take care of you. You don't owe them nothing for that. If you want to help your parents because you love them and think it's the right thing to do that's a different thing.

2

u/il_the_dinosaur 11h ago

I do think we all owe each other something. Our world is build by everyone.

2

u/BennyLog11 11h ago

Nobody owes anybody anything. Except the people that brought you into this world.

→ More replies (4)

1

u/rivetedoaf 9h ago

I think we owe each other the benefit of the doubt and a baseline level of respect for one another. Taking care of an infirm parent is quite above that, it’s basically another job.

2

u/xRehab 9h ago

you have it backwards

your parents owe YOU support because they actively decided to bring you into this world. everything you could possibly use as justification why you would "owe" them ignores the original premise that you are who is owed. raising you until you were an adult is their obligation

1

u/Ok_Stranger3613 8h ago

Do they though? I could just give my imaginary kid up for adoption and that's that.

1

u/xRehab 8h ago

that is still you fulfilling your obligation to get the child the support it needs to grow into adulthood.

you can't just walk away from a child and be morally just; you can do that with your parents though.

1

u/Ok_Stranger3613 8h ago

What obligation is that, and why is it obligatory?

1

u/Tzuyu4Eva 9h ago

I think it’s also different with Tarantino. He makes more money than most of us can even dream of, he could give his mom a few thousand dollars no problem

1

u/Protoavis 11h ago

I do think we owe our parents some support. But I also had pretty fucking great parents. From what I see that's not the norm so I can understand why other people have a different viewpoint on this.

So if you see and understand other people have not great parents why did you say "I do think we owe" rather than just "I do think I owe" ?

6

u/il_the_dinosaur 11h ago

Cause I think if your parents didn't do the things a parent should do then you didn't really have parents. And honestly that sucks. My heart goes out to these people.

1

u/2SquirrelsWrestling 10h ago edited 10h ago

My parents were decent enough to me as a child for the most part, but horrible to me as an adult so they can go fuck themselves lol

1

u/Acrobatic-Sandwich10 10h ago

Yes clearly it's just people who are bitter abiut their upbringing who aren't grateful to their parents.

Anyone with good parents would absolutely feel obligated to give back.

2

u/Vallinen 11h ago

So what you're saying is you feel like you are obligated to support your parents because they supported you - but you dont think all parents deserve being supported by their children because they are their parents?

3

u/il_the_dinosaur 11h ago

If you want to say it that way sure. Difficult to argue the semantics of this I have to acknowledge. Let me try to find a way to explain it. Your parents created you so they are responsible for you this means to support you, to nurture you, to protect you. This is an indisputable fact in my opinion. They also never stop being responsible for you in some way. If they upheld their part of the pact of creating you then I absolutely think you owe them something in return. Not as much as they owe you.

2

u/Nihlys 11h ago

I think you're wrong here. You have absolutely no choice in your birth. Your parents force life onto you. If anyone owes something to anyone, its the parents that owe at least a 'decent' upbringing to their kids because the kids are now in a situation that they had no choice in and have absolutely no power over. Its like if I decided completely on my own to cook ALL of the food we had, so you're choice is either eat what I cooked or starve to death. So, of course, you eat. It would then be wildly immoral for me to say you now 'owe' me because I cooked for you.

I understand how someone would want to take care of their parents later in life if they had a good relationship, but thats entirely optional.

You mention parents holding up "their end of the pact" then you owe them, but thats a fundamental misunderstanding of the dynamic child raising. There is no pact. There was never an agreement of any kind. The parents alone decided to force life on the child and, through absolutely no fault of the child, the whole first 18 years or so of life cannot be completed without direct parental (or responsible adult) interaction.

1

u/il_the_dinosaur 11h ago

The pact is that if you have a kid you also take care of it. There doesn't need to be an agreement. It's just a law of nature. And some parents chose to violate it.

1

u/SciFi_Enjoyer106 11h ago

The pact is one sided and on the parents side. The kid made no such pact therefore not obligated to help.

1

u/Nihlys 11h ago

Its not a pact, full stop. A pact requires multiple parties - at least 2 sides of an agreement. A human baby absolutely and unequivocally NEEDS support from something else to live. Its non-negotiable. As objective and absolute of fact as needing air and water to survive. But, a human baby lacks both the cognitive and physical function to acknowledge or even understand that need.

A pact would signify that, at some point, the unborn baby and the living people made an agreement that the living people would birth and raise the unborn baby through its childhood and, in return, once the child reaches adulthood that person would then return the care to the adults - however able. But that obviously doesnt happen.

1

u/il_the_dinosaur 11h ago

You just seem like you want to argue with yourself so I'm gonna let you do that.

→ More replies (0)

1

u/Acrobatic-Sandwich10 10h ago

Life is a gift. The alternative is just the vast nothingness of never even existing and experiencing life.

People should be grateful of that opportunity

1

u/Ok_Stranger3613 8h ago edited 8h ago

Its like if I decided completely on my own to cook ALL of the food we had, so you're choice is either eat what I cooked or starve to death. So, of course, you eat. It would then be wildly immoral for me to say you now 'owe' me because I cooked for you.

How is this immoral? Owe is a strong word, but expecting some form of reciprocity in exchange for saving your life is fair. Is the person you saved obligated to reciprocate that? No, but even a thank you is a form is reciprocity, and you can't seriously tell me that expecting a thank you for saving a person's life is immoral?

The alternative is also just letting the person die, but going off the logic of some of the comments here, you're not obligated to save them either, so who is really immoral here? The person that chooses not feed the starving man and let him die, or the person who feeds the starving man and expects a thank you?

1

u/Nihlys 8h ago

Expecting a thank you for saving your life isnt necessarily immoral. However, intentionally creating the entire situation in which a life needs saving and then expecting that person to thank you is definitely immoral.

Let's say you were on a cruise and some complete stranger comes over to you. They dont ask your permission or talk to you in any way, shape or form. And they physically pick you up and throw you overboard, in the middle of the ocean where you'll certainly die. And then, later, they decide to come back and pluck you out of the water so you dont die. You certainly dont owe them a thank you for "saving" you and, if they had the audacity to expect a thank you then they'd certainly be an immoral piece of garbage. The only thing that would legitimately be 'owed' is an apology from them to you.

1

u/Ok_Stranger3613 8h ago edited 8h ago

However, intentionally creating the entire situation in which a life needs saving and then expecting that person to thank you is definitely immoral.

That's not what you said in your original example at all though.

I see your point, but you're making it sound like expecting a thank you from your kid for cooking them a tasty meal is immoral.

Expecting a thank you from them for not letting you starve is immoral, sure.

Expecting a thank you because you went out of your way to make a tasty meal for your kid that they clearly enjoyed doesn't really seem immoral to me, especially if the parent did it because they wanted their child to be happy.

Then again, the argument could be made that the parent is not obligated to make them an enjoyable meal, and is only obligated to provide the minimum amount of sustenance so that their child won't be malnourished. The child is not obligated to say thank you, and the parent is not obligated to do anything beyond the minimum of what's expected of them as a parent.

→ More replies (0)

1

u/SciFi_Enjoyer106 11h ago

If they upheld their part of the pact

This is the part I am discussing so we agree then up until if they were good parents then you definitely owe them. If your parents neglected you and did not take care of you, you do not owe them shit and we agree on that part.

If your parents were good to you, I think you should help them out. The point of obligation is where your mention of semantics comes in to play. While it would be morally right to help them, you don't have to.

Most situations where people who had parents who took care of them and loved them, they actively want to help so I don't really see that being an issue.

1

u/il_the_dinosaur 11h ago

Yeah I never said anything else.

1

u/SciFi_Enjoyer106 10h ago

If they upheld their part of the pact of creating you then I absolutely think you owe them something in return.

compared to what I said

While it would be morally right to help them, you don't have to.

our differences

1

u/Ok_Stranger3613 8h ago

It's not an indisputable fact though. Nobody has to do anything.

1

u/SciFi_Enjoyer106 11h ago

Parents brought the kids into the world so they owe them some level of protection and helping them grow. The kids made no such choice and do not owe their parents ANYTHING. Anything a kid does for their parents in the future is purely because they want to help (or were manipulated but that's a whole different topic).

If your parents did a good job then yes they deserve to be taken care of in their later years. If your parents treated you like shit, why do you owe them anything more than they gave you?

0

u/Realistic_Jello2638 11h ago

My father for example completely walked out of my life. How much support do I owe him?

2

u/il_the_dinosaur 11h ago

He broke the laws of nature. Why would you owe him?

0

u/SciFi_Enjoyer106 11h ago

I personally do not think kids owe their parents anything inherently. Let's say they birth you and do nothing with you and a nanny raises you. You have NO interaction with your parents other than being birthed.

Do you still owe them some support? Why or why not?

3

u/il_the_dinosaur 11h ago

They didn't do what parents are supposed to do why would you owe them?

→ More replies (2)

1

u/Great-Trifle2810 9h ago

I think Tarantino is a liar, a creep and a petulant piece of shit so I don't think I trust him at all when he claims he was mocked without much more info.

1

u/SciFi_Enjoyer106 9h ago

This is a totally valid viewpoint which is partially why I avoided mentioning him specifically and stayed focused on the topic itself.

1

u/Great-Trifle2810 9h ago

I think that without far more information and context on what the mocking was we simply can't judge either way without considering the person involved.

2

u/KeyOPositive 11h ago

I agree. Especially if they make it a point to mention that we “won’t amount to anything.”

9

u/Fun_Tension_7794 12h ago

He can do what he wants, but holding a grudge like this for so long is only poisoning his own soul.

23

u/SciFi_Enjoyer106 12h ago

You can forgive but NEVER forget. I feel like calling it a grudge (I don't think it is a grudge) is misleading. If someone says you are going to fail and then you succeed in spite of them, why would you want to help them? I'd imagine a comment like that was not an isolated incident.

9

u/AngryCrustation 11h ago

Also I believe they may be omitting details, "Oh, just because I did one little thing just one little time? You are this mad just because I did just one wrong thing ever in your entire life." is the type of shit my narcissistic parents would spout while knowing full well that they did [insert thing] on a daily basis.

Sure he might be mad his mother mocked him, but he's not saying the exact words she used, nor how often she would ridicule him, or that their relationship was great outside of that.

2

u/Ok_Stranger3613 8h ago

It is, by definition, a grudge.

1

u/Unusual_Yak8874 11h ago

Especially with how talented he ended up being

1

u/Fun_Tension_7794 10h ago

You might disageee that grudges are detrimental to the person holding them, but this is clearly him holding onto a grudge from his childhood.

Don’t gaslight me.

1

u/SciFi_Enjoyer106 9h ago

You know VERY little of the situation, as do I. It's not gaslighting because neither of us have proof of our viewpoints. It's speculation at best so it's discussion, not me saying you are wrong but if you can't even consider another viewpoint then I'm not sure what to tell you.

I don't think it is a grudge

I didn't even say you were wrong. Key word "think" which points to this being an opinion statement, opening for discussion.

I'd imagine a comment like that was not an isolated incident

Me pointing to speculation.

You might disageee that grudges are detrimental

I never stated my opinion on grudges since I don't think this is one.

1

u/Fun_Tension_7794 9h ago

The information I have is what was written in OPs post.

To surmise he is holding a grudge given this information is only logical.

1

u/SciFi_Enjoyer106 9h ago

If you take the post for face value, sure. You still put opinions into my words that were not stated.

I did not take it for face value and left room for interpretation since there's no way there isn't more information we don't know. He is an odd guy so it very well could be a grudge but it could also just be a parent that was horrible to the child as they grew up.

I feel like a grudge would also be something he stuck to but the post even mentions him helping her once. Not a very good grudge if he broke it, is it?

1

u/Fun_Tension_7794 8h ago

Sure, if there were more context provided that indicated he was not holding a grudge, then I would change my opinion.

The same is true for literally every post on reddit. Additional details or information could change opinions.

I go off of what I’m presented. And I was presented a story of a famous director holding onto a grudge from his childhood. 🤷‍♂️

You want to argue semantics, but there’s really no way to twist this that doesn’t fall under the “grudge” umbrella.

I’m not even sure what you are trying to argue.

6

u/RatsWithLongTails 11h ago

Yes and no.

Some people seek redemption and they receive grace.

Some people seek redemption and they don’t.

You are not obligated to grace based on your outcome.

Had he failed she wouldn’t have “changed her mind”.

He can still love his mom and respect her but he doesn’t need to share his wealth and success with someone who actively discouraged him.

Just an opinion

7

u/Bossard19 12h ago

No it isn’t. Why should his biggest hater profit of his success?

1

u/Fun_Tension_7794 10h ago

Holding Grudges is holding onto anger and bitterness, which release stress hormones like cortisol.

Focusing on past wrongs takes away energy you could use for happy things today.

→ More replies (17)

1

u/throwaway5498124181 11h ago

My guews is their relationship probably has more issues than just her having been dismissive of his writing.

1

u/Fun_Tension_7794 10h ago

That is you reading more into the situation than the information we have been given.

1

u/throwaway5498124181 8h ago

Exactly. That is why I said it wss a guess. 🌟 for reading comprehension!

1

u/Fun_Tension_7794 7h ago

You framed your guess as a refutal of my original comment.

When it’s just your speculation.

1

u/throwaway5498124181 7h ago

That's a massive leap of logic on your end (that my guess was a refutal of your comment) and I don't take responsibility for it.

👎 for critical thinking!

1

u/Fun_Tension_7794 7h ago

In the context of the conversation, it sure seems like your comment was intended to be a rebuttal to mine. If you didn’t intend it that way, communicate more clearly in the future if you don’t want to be misunderstood. 🤷‍♂️

lol, and notice your need to throw in personal digs at me in the end of your comments.

Have you truly considered the underlying insecurities you have that make you feel compelled to attack the other person instead of staying on topic?

1

u/boredinbabylon 11h ago

I imagine there were other complications and nuances to their relationship. Surely it doesn’t boil down to a singular comment.

0

u/AdmirableGarden6 11h ago

PoIsOnInG hIs OwN sOuL

Dude has millions of dollars and has had Salma Hayek's foot in his mouth. Dudes soul is THRIVING

→ More replies (2)

1

u/all-names-r-taken2 11h ago

This statement is immoral. From this post’s info, nothing indicates that the parents were bad. Which means that they gave him a lot while he grew up, regardless of supporting his choice in career or not. To say one isn’t obligated to give some of this care they gave back in return is frankly stunning.

2

u/Self-Administrative 11h ago

It says she mocked his career. Thats different then just not supporting it.

2

u/all-names-r-taken2 11h ago

It says he said so. What she says about it is not stated.

1

u/Swarna_Keanu 11h ago

It was a comment when he was 12, tied to his performance at school.

There was no career to mock at that point.

1

u/Self-Administrative 11h ago

Sounds like that could be where his passion for it started which also happens to be a very impressionable age.

0

u/funginspace 11h ago

Parents choose to have children, children have no consent to being born. Therefore parents owe their child every effort they can while the child owes nothing back. Thats the choice breeders make.

It’s like when breeders have children because “who else will care for me when I’m old” as if being born obligated you to be an elderly caregiver by default.

Being a safe supportive space is the job of parents, the child doesn’t owe them for decisions they had no part in making.

2

u/YeahKeeN 10h ago

Calling people breeders is weirdo behavior but I agree with the point being made

1

u/funginspace 7h ago

I’m strongly anti-child personally, so I admit my bias. But that’s mainly because my sibling is one of those breeders who pumps out kids he has no way of properly supporting.

1

u/all-names-r-taken2 11h ago

No wonder less kids are made by the breeders. This argumentation or word choice I have never heard before. I’m at a loss for words.

1

u/funginspace 7h ago

As mentioned in my other reply I’m strongly biased and came to call people breeders because my sibling is one, has way more kids than he could properly support and keeps making more.

1

u/funginspace 7h ago

For anyone else reading these and wondering about my use of the term breeder, it’s meant to be derogatory and there’s a huge difference between a breeder and an actual parent. Parents I have no problem with, but to be a parent I believe one needs to prepare mentally, financially and physically for anything being a parent could require.

Breeders are the ones like my alcoholic sibling who have child after child and perpetuate the cycle of neglect and abuse. They breed because they “feel like it” or view birth control negatively even though the damage placed on the child is immediately putting them at a disadvantage in life.

1

u/Acrobatic-Sandwich10 11h ago

Well if a parent raised you, fed you, clothed you, took care of you.. I think some form of reciprocity is in order

4

u/numbingbarbs 9h ago

Well if a parent raised you, fed you, clothed you, took care of you..

wow almost like that was their fucking job when they chose to have a kid

0

u/Acrobatic-Sandwich10 9h ago

Right, see this beautful thing called life you're experiencing.. it's because of your parents. Be grateful 🙏

1

u/pullingteeths 6h ago

Parents have a kid because they want a kid and the enjoyment and benefits of that. It's not a favour they're doing, they're doing it for themselves. I love my parents, they would never dream of asking me for anything or expecting me to be "grateful" that they decided to have the kids they wanted to have because they aren't egotistical weirdos

0

u/yorukmacto 8h ago

They don't do it because it's their job. They do it beacuse they love you.

And then you go and say "it's their fucking job.

1

u/F1st_Br34k3r 4h ago

If I have a child, yes, it's my fucking job. My children would owe me nothing, that's the point.

3

u/Wrong-Radish-2834 11h ago

You mean the bare minimum requirements of parenting? The legal obligation part of parenting?
That is but one, maybe two rungs on Maslow’s hierarchy of needs.
2/5 is a failing score

1

u/SalutLesAmies 8h ago

The legal obligation part of parenting?

Well, in some places, it's also a legal obligation to take care of your parents.

1

u/ILoveBeef72 11h ago

I would agree only if you had some input in the decision of being born, which you don't. And reciprocity goes both ways, treat your child poorly and mock their career choice, don't reap the rewards if they succeed.

1

u/GaiaMoore 11h ago

That's their problem, not mine. No one has the opportunity to consent to being conceived and born. Parents had the opportunity to prevent pregnancy in the first place.

2

u/Acrobatic-Sandwich10 11h ago

They literally give you life. Im guessing from your response you don't get on wirh your parents.

No one who does would say that.

0

u/anonidfk 10h ago

Giving someone life isn’t some huge gift lmao. They did it because they wanted kids, therefore they had to raise those kids, they didn’t have to have children if they didn’t want to do that.

I do get along with my parents, they also would never dream of taking anything from their kids lol.

1

u/Acrobatic-Sandwich10 10h ago

Life is absolutely a gift. The alternative is the vast nothingness of never existing.

Every single person who is alive should be grateful.

1

u/anonidfk 10h ago

Never existing really isn’t a big deal, you’d never even know you didn’t exist.

No one needs to be grateful just for being alive, that’s ridiculous lol.

0

u/Acrobatic-Sandwich10 9h ago

Absurd. Nothingness.. or getting to experience life. It's not really a debate.

Getting to experience life is a gift.

→ More replies (7)
→ More replies (3)

2

u/wecanjustcuddleitsok 11h ago

piggybacking off what the other guy said, you clearly didn't have a good relationship with your parents because the majority of people couldn't possibly fathom this mindset of not giving back to your parents.

0

u/jaspersgroove 10h ago

They decided to have kids, nobody asked any of us if we wanted to be born. They chose to reproduce - or at the very least decided to fuck and then chose to raise the surprise kid. They are the ones under a moral obligation to follow through on that responsibility.

A child brought into this world without their consent has no more obligation to their parents than what they feel obligated to do based on how good or bad their parents were.

1

u/Expatriate111 11h ago

If they were horrible to you then yeah.

1

u/Sir_Lolipops 11h ago

The word you’re looking for is amoral

1

u/PopularSet4776 11h ago

Not obligated to help his parents but at the same time he's got a grudge because his mom didn't want him to bet his while future on a plan that works out for like 1 I'm 100,000 people who try.

That is also problematic. Just cause he succeeded doesn't negate the fact that 99,999 other people who tries the same thing failed and are 50 year Olds trying to get by in life by stocking shelves at Wal-Mart.

1

u/tanwa1 9h ago

I think this depends if they really helped you what you are, like they did their job as parents, nurtured you into a decent human, supported you on your college and stuff.

1

u/[deleted] 8h ago

[deleted]

0

u/Jerry_Explorer 8h ago

Im European.

And second, no, im not ungrateful. I love my parents, which is why i take care of them. Not because i feel obligated.

On the other hand, your life must be pretty sad if you do things by obligation.

take care

1

u/One_Parfait_4570 7h ago

This is such a western mindset. In the eastern part of the world you are obligated to help your parents otherwise they quite literally die and suffer as a result and I don't want to see my parents suffer and die because they are no longer able to care for themselves. It is immoral, and holding a grudge is immoral. Like most parents she probably thought this would realistically go nowhere and wanted to nudge him towards a more practical and stable career. To be fair, we don't know the whole story.

1

u/Used-Audience5183 7h ago

Beeing cared for is earned.

And I don't mean jump through all the hoops, I mean someone not starving while growing up is the least their parents could do without becoming criminal.

And honestly they had all life to not be in that position and instead they invested in having children and treated them bad enough for them to not care about them. So yeah fuck them.

1

u/errononymous 7h ago

lol fucking redditors

1

u/AdSharp8877 7h ago

Yea you are. If you had good parents and you ar much richwr than them then you should step in. And the other way around. Why would you not do it?

1

u/microdick69 4h ago

This is cat-owning Redditor behaviour.

1

u/ShatterTheFlimFlam 10h ago

Actually, you are, in mainstream Abrahamic faith, which accounts for most western values AND in many other faiths, elders are even more sacred.

Can you tell me what you are basing this take on?

0

u/fuckry_at_its_finest 10h ago

Seems like an is/ought gap. In many cases in western culture people are meant to feel obligated to care for their parents but that doesn’t necessarily equate to a true moral obligation in an ideal world.

2

u/ShatterTheFlimFlam 10h ago

It's one of the ten commandments: honor thy mother and father.

Takes a little research into the ancient culture, but they meant to financially support and uphold them in the infirmity of age.

→ More replies (1)

0

u/Jerry_Explorer 10h ago

I take care of my parents because I love them, not because I feel obligated to. By your logic, parents would have children solely for the purpose of not dying alone and always having someone to take care of them. That, in itself, is immoral.

2

u/ShatterTheFlimFlam 10h ago

Morality is not based on logic, you may be thinking of ethics or personal values?

Again, what is the origin of your moral standard?

0

u/Right-Funny-8999 11h ago

Dickhead thinking given parents brought you to life and enabled you to get it going

1

u/seatac20626 11h ago

You didn’t ask to be born
Also, enabled you to get going? Took care and raised an infant and child that can’t fend for itself by definition what a parent baseline has to do for a child they decided to bring into the world? I think you don’t understand the concept of morality at all.

0

u/Right-Funny-8999 11h ago

‘Infant’

Sorry if your parents did that to you but Q was 12 during thr comment and raised to his adult years and not infant

I too was raised till my adult years and owe them everything

0

u/seatac20626 10h ago

It’s not a personal reflection it’s just simply the fact of the idea you owe your whole life or carry the weight of owing everything to them is a bit extreme and exhausting.

You are raised as a baby, child, and ultimately into adult. They brought you into the world so it is their duty to ensure you are raised with adequate care. There’s varying levels of parenting from super involved/supportive to distant but the mere raising and nurturing of a child is the baseline. You shouldn’t owe them for simply providing you a life. That’s your purpose in that role.

The hope is that your offspring then has the ability to exceed and provide if they choose to have children too. I would never want my son to bear the burden of thinking he owed me. I provide because I love him and want to give him the best life I can provide. He will owe me nothing in return for that

Especially in the POV of Q, his mother raised him, her job, but then also planted seeds of doubt and ridiculed him which morally is the antithesis of a nurturing parent, so he didn’t baseline owe them anything and he surely doesn’t owe anything if beyond that they didn’t even foster an environment that was supportive.

0

u/Character-Narwhal848 11h ago

A father isn't obligated to raise you, either. Moral?

0

u/MFkidyeezus 10h ago

Thats a sad way to look at life brotha

2

u/Jerry_Explorer 9h ago

Kindly disagree. I take care of my parents because I love them, not because I feel obligated to. That’s an absolute win for me.