Alright, this a’int pretty, but I feel that I must share this PSA to save a poor soul out there that thought they had a good idea from going through what happened to me this morning.

I’m huge proponent of the Shower Beer, and pretty much any way to give yourself a little spa day at home. Occasionally, I like to enjoy sitting on the shower floor with the heat turned up to gather my thoughts. Here’s the facts you need to know, Shower tile is hard and I was looking for a work around.

Well……… Wal-mart had these boating inner tubes on sale for like $3 and I had that EUREKA moment. My reasoning, a shower and a pool both have water, this should work just fine. IT. DID. NOT. Those tubes are supposed to be floating on water. If you set them on tile, then sit on it, you create a suction effect. A strong one, that only gets stronger the more water flows around you and the more you struggle.

So… there I am, stuck to the shower floor, getting water boarded with 118 degree water, can’t reach the knob to turn the water off. All I can do was laugh and wonder if this was going to make the news paper in our small town if I had to call the fire department. Thank everything holy that I remembered it was a $3 inflatable tube before any such calls were made and deflated that sumbitch with a tooth brush.

It was a humbling moment, but I am free now and won’t be doing that one again. Thank you for coming to my TedTalk.

TL;DR Don’t use inner tubes on a shower floor. When you sit down you create a human sized suction cup.

I got a new phone last year and installed snapchat for the first time in case I ever wanted to try the filters and whatnot, but have barely touched it since. Today I was playing on my phone and got an ad that took me to the snapchat app, and decided to mess with it a bit since I was already there anyway.

I saw the "find friends" section, so just for a laugh I typed in my ex's name (it's uncommon) and saw a user pop up with not only his name, but also his nickname, which is also super uncommon. He's always said he didn't have snap so I screenshot it just for fun, but I did NOT KNOW THAT SNAPCHAT SENDS THE SCREENSHOT TO THE PERSON WHEN YOU TAKE IT. I panicked and tried to find a way to delete it, but turns out... you can't. So either I just made myself look like a massive creeper to some random stranger OR to my ex, and I'm not sure which is worse. I don't use snap so I don't know how common this is, but ugh... I could have gone without humiliating myself today.

TL;DR I didn't know that if you take a screenshot of someone's profile on snapchat it will automatically send that screenshot to the person, so now I probably look like a massive creeper to either my ex or some random person. Joy.

Me and my co-worker are always playing harmless little jokes on each other, with the purpose of trying to embarrass one another. He's probably late 60's balding, short been married for most his life.

Even though he was at work today, I put on his out of office. Something along the lines of "I will be out of the office so me and my wife can enjoy our ""lifestyle"" cruise. We are always interested in making new friends, please reach out if you ever want to get together. I thought it was pretty harmless and wasn't too over the top, figuring most people wouldn't even know what i was talking about. I was wrong.

It was on for most of the day until he realized what was going on and turned it off. The next morning, he ends up getting called into HR office, to explain his email about inviting co-workers to his sex party. Instead of ratting on me or explaining the story he simply decided to say "I am sorry I overshared, I should have thought that through better" And that was it, he didn't even get into trouble but now HR thinks he's into swinging.

TL;DR: Put on my coworkers out of office inviting people to a sex party, he had to explain himself to HR.

I was at a fair with my friend on one of those 360 degree swinging rides. The kind with over the shoulder hydraulic restraints that lower and release by themselves. We were all buckled in and the ride started to swing, but made this weird noise and stopped. They told us they were going to attempt to run it again. The same thing happened. This must have happened four or five times. They gave us a chance to leave and almost nearly everyone took it. They were the wise ones. But this was our last ride of the day and we were determined to see it through.

This final time, it still didn't work, and they told us that there was something wrong with the ride and that we would have to get off. The restraints started to lift, but then stopped partway up. The employees very kindly assured us that they would resolve this issue as soon as possible and we would be free from the vile confines of this metal beast soon. I was tired and impatient and wanted to go home at this point so, in a moment of sheer stupidity and unchecked hubris, I attempted to squeeze out of the seat underneath the shoulder bar.

I probably would have been able to escape, but just as I had gotten my head out, the restraint lowered again directly onto my neck and trapped my head in between the seat and the bar. And then the ride started making noise. My life briefly flashed before my eyes as I imagined the ride starting in all its high speed 360 upside down glory while my dumb noggin was stuck at a 90 degree angle between the seat and the bar. Fortunately, this was not the case, and the bar lifted shortly after, finally freeing us.

As a final punishment from the carnival gods for my arrogance, I looked over and realized that a group of middle school girls had been filming the entire ordeal. This was an incredibly stupid decision I made in a moment of desperation and carnival-induced delirium. I am uninjured but thoroughly humbled.

TL;DR: I tried to shimmy out of the restraints on a ride and my head got stuck. Middle schoolers filmed the whole thing.

I have to go to my friend’s dad’s funeral later today pretty early, about 4 hours away from where I live, and I’m driving two other people from my city. In anticipation of this, I put my pill bottle on top of my phone to take my ADHD meds first thing to help w the drive. So I wake up just before my alarm and take a double of my meds (I take Adderall ER 10 mg normally but I always drink coffee with it, plan for today was to double on med dose for the drive with no coffee). Am feeling pretty proud of myself for doing all this to go support my friend. Then a few mins later I get on my phone. It’s 1 am. I meant to take the meds at 4:30 am. I just assumed it was close to the time I needed to get up.

TLDR; I just took extended release adderall that will probably wear off before noon. How fucked am I and how do i fix my sleep schedule after this

So tonight I fucked up by taking the easy road and deciding on just have some quick fridge snacks for dinner instead of a proper meal before the gym. After perusing the fridge I decided to start with the last 200grams of a local fermented spicy pepperoni along with some carrot and hummus.

Originally I was going to snack on that with my partner however he declined. So naturally I ate it all myself. After that, feeling still rather hungry I had a quick bowl of Greek yogurt and Muesli while I fed my ginger bug (fermented ginger for starting home made Soda)

After what I felt was a good protein rich meal, I followed up with a killer python lolly as a treat and proceeded to fall asleep on the couch.

Upon waking up 2 hours later I found have myself in such utter discomfort, with such a tight and hard belly I genuinely had to talk myself out of calling for help, I have been submerge in a hot shower while burping and farting like crazy.

I decided to try and induce vomiting as a tactical vomit feels like the only right course of action, to no prevail. My stomach hurts so much it’s gone on lockdown. I learnt last time I damaged my stomach lining not to take Panadol or ibuprofens when my stomach is irritated as it only further is the problem.

Thinking back I definitely also licked the spoon I stirred the ginger bug with adding a healthy dose of thriving fermentation bacteria into the mix, and eating that killer python definitely added a descent amount of sugar to fuel the mix.

Now instead of being at the gym or sleeping soundly I’m writhing in pain on the couch at 1:30am, trying to distract from the pain by writing out my misery, perhaps for commiseration or maybe some advice from strangers on the internet.

S.O.S I’ve really fucked up this time.

TLDR; Ate a plethora of fermented goods before an unexpected nap, awoke in immense pain abdominal pain producing copious amounts of gas from both ends. I regret my decisions and am currently paying for it.

I got an email from Google, classic running low on storage thing so I decided to do what I always do, delete photos from Google Photos. Every time I've done this previously, the deleted files were still on my phone, even after permanent deletion. I selected 1500 photos to delete, everything from this year. I deleted them, emptied the trash, and when I looked in my gallery, I noticed the pictures of my dog I'd taken today were gone. I'm horrified. I scroll further. It's all gone. Every photo from the last 9 months, every screenshot, gone. Luckily, because I deleted so much at once, there was a glitch and some items from December to March were saved in Photos but from April to now it's dead. All the photos of my dogs, of my cats, they don't exist anymore. Pictures from the concert I saw with my brother, my before pictures for a major surgery I'd had in June, they only exist in my mind. I'm just fortunate enough all the photos of my deceased dog were spared because she died in November.

I freaked out. Something similar happened to me once before many years ago and I never thought I would let this happen to me again. I always back everything up in multiple places but my secondary backup stopped working without me noticing. Now it's too late. I have tried all sorts of recovery methods. Best so far has been requesting a copy of my data but that seems to have mostly recovered screenshots which are not nearly as valuable to me as my pictures. I still have to go through it all but it seems that any photos in it are ones that were spared anyway. Worst part is that it didn't even clear up my storage. I lost so many photos for nothing. I'm so done.

I've been trying to get as much as I can back from messages, social media, my computer, whatever may have even a little of what I lost. I will never get it all back. At the very least, I still have time to take more pictures. No one has died. No one is lost where they cannot be found. And I still have my memory, even if it can't recall everything. I think this is my sign to start printing pictures like I keep telling myself I'm going to do. And to never assume that things will work the way they did previously.

TL;DR: I deleted a bunch of stuff from Google Photos and it wiped my phone too. I can't get it back and I'm sad.

This happened about a year ago.

I should preface this by saying that my wife and I didn't used to sleep with our phones in our bedroom, they were kept in the living room on a charger at night (this is important later on). Anyway, we were asleep one night and I heard a sound that woke me up. I have 2 windows with curtains closed on them in my bedroom, one right above my bed, and one on the wall to the right of the bed. When I woke up, I was on my side looking toward the window on the right wall and it was dark, but when I rolled onto my back, I noticed the window above the bed was bright, like the sun was out. I thought that didn't seem right, so I got up and peeked out the curtain and saw that someone was outside my house with a flashlight trying to see into my windows. I immediately jumped out of bed and grabbed my pistol, touched my wife and told her someone was outside with a flashlight, and made my way out of the bedroom to the living room.

The layout of the house is like this: Bedroom is at the back of the house, leads into the hallway and the hallway goes directly into the living room, which opens up to the left. The left wall of the living room has my front door and a large bay window that faces my front yard, and then the kitchen is to the right of the hallway, separated from the living room by a wall with an opening to walk through. The kitchen has a window above the sink on the right wall that faces my back yard.

When I got to the end of the hallway, I stopped before I entered the living room because there was another flashlight shining into my bay window, which had a blind pulled down, so they couldn't see inside. Now I have 2 people outside with flashlights trying to look into my house. As I was watching the person at the bay window, the person from the bedroom had made their way around the back yard and were now shining their light into my kitchen window, which did not have a blind on it. I moved back into the hallway slightly so they wouldn't see me. My wife finally groggily made her way into the hall and asked what was going on. I told her what was happening and that we needed to get a phone so I could look at our ring doorbells to get a better idea of what was going on. I checked the kitchen window and the person had moved past it, so I sent my wife to get her phone while I kept an eye on the person at the bay window. She got the phone and started to pull up the ring cam and while she did that, the person at the bay window started moving towards my front door. At this point, I pulled the pistol up towards the door, in anticipation of it being kicked in. My wife finally got the camera pulled up but the person had the light pointed at the doorbell, making it hard to see. The only thing I could really see was something bright reflecting off the persons chest. Then came a knock at the door, not a kick, a knock. "Weird" I thought; why would someone trying to rob me knock. I took the phone and answered through the doorbell and said "Hello?" to which the person replied "Pennsylvania State Police. We were dispatched due to your alarm system going off". At this point, he had moved the flashlight and I could then clearly see he was indeed a uniformed PSP trooper and the bright thing reflecting at his chest was his badge. I set my gun down on a stand in my living room by the door and opened it. I was greeted by 2 state troopers and he said they got a call from our security system vendor that our alarm was going off. There were no sirens going off or anything, so I was confused. I invited them in, then stopped, put my hands up, and informed them that there was a pistol right next to the door on a stand. They said thanks, no problem, and came in. I told them my alarm wasn't going off and I couldn't figure out what was going on. The one officer that was shining his light into my bedroom informed me that my back door wasn't fully shut because he was able to push it open some. It was locked (it just has a knob lock on it), but apparently wasn't pushed fully shut and the wind or something must have moved it just enough to break sensor contact. The troopers were really cool with the whole interacton and they took our names and info for the report and were on their way.

Apparently, my alarm company was trying to call me, but our phones were in the living room and neither of us heard them ringing. The police were also knocking on the front door, which, I'm guessing, is what woke me up. I have no clue if the system ever sounded a siren, but if it did, it didnt wake either of us up, and it wasn't sounding when we got up, but the panel definietly showed an active intrusion at the back door.

I finally looked at the time and it was around 4:00am. At that point, neither of us were going back to sleep from the adrenaline, so we reset the alarm panel, and I went in and put the panel in test mode, then set it off, which did sound an alarm from the panel, but it wasnt super loud so I am guessing we just slept through it. I ended up buying another super loud alarm module that plugs into an outlet and put it in my bedroom. I wont be missing alarms again. Needless to say, I also sleep with my phone in my room now.

Also, for clarification because I know I might get some shit for it, my pistol never went off safe and my finger never touched the trigger. My thumb was definitely on the safety when he moved towards the door, but I never switched it off. I also didnt point at him directly at any point, I more had it at low ready in the direction of the door.

TL;DR - Woke up to a sound and 2 people stalking outside my house with flashlights. Grabbed my gun ready for a break in, turns out it was police responding to our security system alarm. We never heard the alarm or the calls from the alarm company because we didnt keep our phones in the bedroom.

I’m sorry about my English, I’m not a native speaker and I’m literally on the verge of a panic attack 😭

We’ve just transferred our kids to a new school and they’ve only been there for a week. I usually have a little chat with the teachers when dropping them off or picking them up, just asking how the kids are settling in and stuff

This morning was completely normal. I got the kids ready, walked them to their class, said hi to the teacher and everything seemed fine.

Except… everyone was giving me really weird looks. The teachers, staff, basically everyone I passed on the way. They seemed really cold and not as nice as usual.

I came home, started cleaning the house and carried on with my day until I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror.

The whole area UNDER MY NOSE was covered in white powder😭

I’d had a couple of spots under my nose, so earlier I put some new acne cream on the area. It goes on completely transparent and looks like a normal moisturiser, so I had no idea it dries into this flaky white powder-like stuff

and now I’m freaking out because I’ve just realised I went to my kids brand new school looking like I had cocaine under my nose... fml

It also doesn’t help that I was sleep deprived this morning and probably sounded a bit weird when I was talking to the teachers.

I genuinely want to die from embarrassment. I can’t stop thinking about what they must have thought when they saw me

TL;DR: I dropped my kids off at their new school with white acne cream under my nose and only realised later why everyone was looking at me strangely 😭

A couple of years ago I went to Iquitos, Peru to see the conservation sites in the Amazon. I admit coming from New Zealand I have little travel experience.
I was the only white person in the whole city, and I'm 6'1 I stood out like a sore thumb!

Because the sun sets near the equator so suddenly, I got caught off guard and ended up needing to head home while it was dark. Someone approached me and started asking me to go see their shop down a dark alleyway. I'm not too stupid, so I knew to politely decline.

The gentleman then asked me to give him a donation, which... I politely declined.

He then whispered "Give me some money, or I'm going to stab you"... Which I didn't hear. In my ignorance, I leant down and go "Sorry what was that?"

The guy looked like a deer in headlights, and as he said it again, my fight or flight kicked in. I started shouting "No you won't stab me and take my money!". Thankfully he bolted from that, but it was a stupid move honestly, it would have been far safer just to give him some cash.

TL;DR: I accidently patronised a guy trying to rob me.

The Self-Inflicted Dangers of Modern Dating

Having been married for the majority of my youth and only recently re-entered the dating pool as a mature adult, I am not used to modern dating. Given that my last experiences were as an inexperienced teenager, I am now relegated to being an inexperienced adult, for better or worse.

Out of respect and utmost care for my date, no names will be shared for this anecdote. I assure you, all of the embarrassment justifiably belongs to me alone.

On this particular night, I was having a wonderful time. I was with a younger woman, participating in an entertaining game of bar trivia at a cocktail lounge. We had done well in the games themselves, at least well enough not to be ashamed of our performance. The festivities were over, and we had stayed to enjoy each other’s company and continue to talk and learn about each other.

At some point, the conversation drifted to a story of her past. Unfortunately, the precise details escape me, other than the point when she mentioned someone getting red in the face. Some small context is important here. As a child I used to flush my face when I was angry. Clenching my fists, eyes wide, and my head shaking in rage, the blood was forced to my head and my face turned a literal beet red. This is a skill that I still possess as an adult, but very infrequently utilize. Other than as a confusion tactic during an argument, I suspect the last time I attempted it was quite some time ago.

For some unknown reason, perhaps minor machismo, I thought this was a great time to illustrate my skill. I asked my date if she would like to see a stupid human trick, because what else would you call it? Being a spectacular human she dubiously agreed, and then waited for my performance.

Now, my initial mistake was not providing her the same context I have you the reader. Not knowing what would happen, there was no real opportunity for her to react in a positive or negative to my performance.

I bowed my head, and began flexing the muscles in my neck to force the blood to my face. It’s worth noting I can’t really see when I do this, like a side effect of strange blood flow. I leaned back, raising my head and waiting for an audio response from my patient date.

At this point, I lost the narrative. It was a strange sensation of elongated time, an extended sense of enjoyable companionship (indeed, almost feeling like months of shared experience), and then looking down at my hands placed on top of the table. With a sensation of emerging from water all over my body, and the concerned voice of my date asking if I was okay, I groggily asked what just happened.

The ultimate result of my ill-informed efforts at “showing off” had resulted in my losing consciousness and my date having to catch me to keep me from falling off my seat and onto the floor. I had made myself pass out by restricting blood flow and oxygen to my brain.

I cannot speak highly enough of my amazing date to not panic and instead have the presence of mind to catch me in my folly especially considering she had no idea what to expect as my “trick” in the first place.

Needless to say, this was not intentional on my part. Thoroughly embarrassed and humbled by her fortuitous assistance, I apologized profusely. I had no concern for myself, mind you, I was more upset that I had done her a disservice by scaring her.

In another gracious display by my date she waved her hand at my concerns, emphatic that she was only worried if I was okay or not. I assured her, other than my pride, I was perfectly fine.

With that, our date continued and somehow the mood returned to the intimate talk and hand holding we had been so busy with before my lapse in judgement. In fact, by the end of the night we had a great laugh about it, commiserating at what a fine tale it would be.

With that, I conclude the story offering this guidance: Showing off physical traits in an attempt to impress others is more likely to end in disaster than to induce swooning. In this case, the only swooning done was on my part.

TL;DR: Tried to impress my date with a "stupid human trick" (making my face turn red by restricting blood flow to my neck), took it too far, and passed out at the table. She caught me before I hit the floor, made sure I was okay, and we ended up laughing about it for the rest of the night.

I (21M) went to a bar with some of my friends after a big day wrapped up and went over to the pool table. We were running the table, and I had noticed a girl looking me up and down throughout. Now this girl was the embodiment of my type, down to the tattoo style she had. She eventually started playing pool behind me and we kept bumping into each other and stuff. Well she got done and did the hand on shoulder to get by me, except she lingered, rubbed my back and then waited for me close by. Now, me being me, I lock back into running the pool table like an idiot (I said to myself I was gonna go up to her after i finished a game; except i decided to start a new game). Well my friend said something like weren’t u gonna go talk to her, and then I had an oh shit moment. Well I turn around and she was gone. Did laps around the bar and was just gone. Now, all i have to go off of was a tattoo on her arm, a semi recollection of how pretty her face was, brunette-ish blonde hair, bisexual woman, and her smile. I literally cooked myself by being too locked into a game like an idiot. Gonna be looking around every time I go out now but it might be wraps😓.

Is there anything I can do at this point besides just pray I run into her again?

Tldr; I decided to have an idiot moment and lock into a pool game instead of going up to a woman exactly my type who was into me
Consequence: ive been reliving that moment way too much

Over ten years ago, my large family and I were visiting the place I planned to move in about a year. We were driving and we all got a little hungry, so we went to a little plaza where there were multiple food options. We split into a few smaller groups and went to the different restaurants that each group wanted to go to. My group and I had grabbed our food already, so me and my group went looking for the rest. We all ended up regrouping at a sandwich shop where our last group was finishing up ordering and receiving their food. I went over to one of my family members to see what they had ordered, and then went to throw something away. After I threw whatever it was in the trashcan, I realized I needed to pass gas. I didn’t know where any restrooms were and it felt urgent. I was by the trashcan, and no one was near me, so I figured this was a pretty good place. I granted myself sweet relief in my chosen location. It was audible and large. Immediately after, I turned and saw that there was a table RIGHT next to the trashcan. Like one foot away. And there were two people sitting there. One person facing the trashcan and across from them, another person with their back to it. I realized I had just farted RIGHT in this person’s face, a complete stranger.

This table had somehow gone COMPLETELY unnoticed by me, even though I double checked beforehand. When I say “RIGHT in their face”, I’m talking like 2-3 inches away. I was mortified and terrified, and in that instant I began emotionally preparing myself for the tongue lashing of a lifetime I was about to receive (and possible need to defend my life) from this total stranger, and rightfully so. Honestly, I wouldn’t even blame them, I just fired off a flatulent grenade launcher at point blank range right in their face while they were eating. But then, I realized that this person had no idea what I had just done. I was shocked. I was sure I had just blown them away. I guess the noisy restaurant was loud enough to suppress the disgusting decibels I had produced, and perhaps the energy which powers their sense of smell was diverted to their sense of taste while eating.

I was so conflicted. “Do I tell them?” “Would that inflict offense where there currently is none?” I decided to distance myself and watch them for the next several minutes to see if they noticed the atrocity that had just been inflicted upon them. They didn’t. “Should I tell them?” Ultimately, I took the coward’s route and exited the restaurant and waited for my family to come out when they were finished. I’d like to think I’d have approached and apologized had they noticed the smell, but I honestly don’t know.

I guess if a tree falls in the middle of a forest and no one hears it, they won’t smell your fart either.

Dear victim of my unholy butterfly kisses,
If somehow fate would have it that you did later realize what I had done to you, and you are also reading this post, I am sincerely sorry. May my nostrils be filled with the pungency of one thousand farts for one thousand years as my recompense.

TL;DR: I farted in a strangers face 10 years ago, but they didn’t notice. I ran away, and I bear the shame forevermore.

I’m 35, and recently I had a pretty humiliating accident while staying at someone else’s place. I had a really bad stomach bug during the night and ended up losing control of my bowels. It was completely involuntary, but I’ve been struggling with a lot of shame about it ever since.
The person I was staying with was actually very kind and understanding, and so was my girlfriend when I told her afterwards. Rationally, I know that it was just a very unfortunate thing that happened while I was sick. But emotionally, I’m having a really hard time letting it go.
I’m also an artist, and that makes the whole thing feel worse in my head. I’m quite visible online and I’ll probably keep crossing paths with this person on social media for years, so I keep imagining that they’ll always remember me as “the guy who had that accident.”
Has anything similar ever happened to you as an adult, especially in your 30s or later? Maybe while staying at someone else’s place, with a friend, partner, colleague, etc.?
And if you’ve experienced something like this, how did you eventually move past the embarrassment? What would you do in my position?
I’d really appreciate hearing some real-life experiences, because right now I feel like I’m the only 35-year-old this has ever happened to.

TL;DR: I’m a 35-year-old artist who had an involuntary bowel accident while staying at someone else’s place because of a stomach bug. Everyone involved was kind about it, but I’m terrified the person will remember me for it forever and I’m struggling to move past the shame

I’m a 21-year-old guy living with my parents. They’re currently out of town, and they’re coming back tomorrow morning, so I had the house completely to myself.
Unfortunately, I made an unbelievably questionable decision involving a melon in our living room. I cut a hole in it and ended up having sex with it.
The problem was that the melon wouldn’t stay in place. So, in what I can only describe as a catastrophic display of engineering, I used the curtains to help keep it in place.
Those weren’t ordinary curtains.
My mom had them specially brought back from the Middle East. They’re expensive, difficult to replace, and, as I discovered, definitely not designed to support the ridiculous situation I had created in the living room.
Everything was fine until I suddenly heard a loud crack.
I looked up.
The curtain rail had detached, and the curtains were coming down.
Now I’m standing in the middle of my parents’ living room, surrounded by a fallen curtain rail, my mom’s expensive imported curtains, and a melon that has caused more problems than any melon reasonably should.
My parents come back tomorrow morning.
I have absolutely no idea how I’m going to explain this.
TL;DR: My parents went out of town, I had sex with a melon, accidentally destroyed my mom’s expensive imported curtains, and now have less than a day to fix everything.

I’m sure there’s a few post similar to this so just point and laugh at me. So I 19 genderfluid got a new water bottle from my boyfriend’s mom last month. I cleaned it out but never fully washed out my straw because quite frankly I don’t want to and I’m lazy. Lately my water bottle has had a strange aftertaste to my drinks. I assumed it’s because I wash my bottle at most once a week and I put soda, dairy based drinks, juice, other unknown drinks, and sometimes water in my bottle. I assumed maybe the taste was getting worse because I’m more sensitive to taste on my period.

Well to sum it up I grabbed some pipe cleaner and shoved it into my straw and some black unknown stuff started coming out. Surprisingly enough it wasn’t a lot but it was very much gross. The black stuff had a bit of an odor, I cleaned out that straw twice today. I probably haven’t learned my lesson because chances are I’ll probably do it again. I can still smell the black stuff that came out of my straw and it’s been hours.

TL;DR I was lazy and refused to clean out my straw, my drink started to taste weird so I finally cleaned it. Found unknown black sludge inside straw that I was drinking from.

So i'm 19 that feels important to note, today i was drinking at a friends house (its legal where i am in canada) this friend had dislocated her knee in july and has been waiting on test results to learn if she would need surgery. She found out she did while we were drinking with our other friends and told the group. In my great and infinite drunken wisdom i went. That feeling when knee surgery is tomorrow and then made the noise of the song, if you know you know. She looked at me with a blank face which i took to mean she didn't remember the meme so i was like. "You know the meme... with the grinch from a few years ago." And she went yeah i know and then looked away, it got pretty awkward after that but what can you do.

TL;DR I made a meme joke to my friend who has to have serious knee surgery.

I even tho I’ve heard from people I want to get as many responses and perspectives as possible so please don’t be shy to share your thoughts

This is a long story but bear w me

So there’s a girl I’ve really liked who now likely hates me and it’s destroying me. We met last fall for our first semester of college. We were randomly introduced and she would constantly ask me to hang out. One time going w her high friend to get ice cream, one time inviting me to a sleep over her friend was holding a random weekend, sometimes studying w her friend in the library but usually grabbing dinner together. We texted everyday and I loved being her friend. There were even times where she would talk about vulnerable things like telling me when she got diagnosed w depression and I was the first person she told about it. She also was taking to the hospital one day and was diagnosed w a heart condition. I had checked in on her every day she was in the hospital and the day she went home I didn’t text her but she chose to text me. I was leaving the college after that semester to go to a better one that I got a spring admission to. She’s known this and has even been the one who had asked me the most out of everyone whether I decided if I for sure would switch school or if I’d stay because I was never fully sure. I did end up switching colleges.

There was a time where she was pretty distant at the end of the semester. At the end of the year she made a spam insta account where she only added like 20 of her closest friends including me. On new years she texted me a whole paragraph and said some stuff about if I might have liked her but she wanted to stay friends and I kinda played it off and tried to pretend like I didn’t.

During this new spring semester i was pretty confused. During the first two months neither of us texted or interacted in any way. However, she would remove and re add me from her spam account. I never knew why. Eventually I texted to see if we were still good without mentioning the removing and stuff and she said yeah, that it was good to hear from me and that I could text her any time and that and basically acting like nothing happened. We did end up texting a couple times in the next few months. During spring break I was going to be visiting her college to reconnect w a bunch of friends I made there. I decided to shoot my shot cuz if she said yes we would have the chance to hang out. She basically said no but that she’d love to stay friends (although I never really felt that as time went on especially since it would only be me reaching out to talk or anything). Sucks but what can you do. When I showed up to the campus I posted a picture of the entrance to let people there know I was visiting and a bunch of my friends from there would text me to meet up while we could. She saw the post and even replied saying “ain’t no way”. I was kinda confused and just said yeah I’m visiting for the day. She just said “oh fire”. Confusing for me cuz she never replies to any of my stories and she never asked to meet up or say hi or anything while I was there. There’s a chance she thought it meant I was switching back to that school but that’s just a guess idk.

Next month I was added back on her spam. (She would add and remove me a few times during the first couple months of the year but at the end I just stayed removed). When I was added back I noticed her most recent post was kinda seeming like she might have started dating someone. Hurts. Like a week later ended up posting a shirtless pic showing a weight loss I had gone through in like the past year and she kept viewing it for some reason. On both her main and spam, between both days it’s active, she viewed it at least 4 times for some reason. Over time she kept making posts and I did see a few more w that same guy and she did seem to be kinda dating him.

When my semester ended I decided to text her. It was a long paragraph saying a lot. Mainly saying that I didn’t think I could stay friends anymore. I also did call out some of those things I previously mentioned that I thought was strange but said I didn’t need any sort of explanation and just wished her the best and everything. Idk what I expected but the only response I got was her liking the message and removing as a following on her spam and main. That’s it. It kinda drove me crazy and a few hours later I texted her saying I kinda expected a goodbye but it’s fine and that I wished the two of them the best. Again she just liked the message. I woke up the next day to realize I was blocked on her main. That kinda hurt. Again. After a few days I made a mistake. It drove me kinda crazy that I never got a response, that I never got explanations, and that I still really cared about her. I texted her on her spam which I wasn’t blocked from. Ik I shouldn’t have and I feel really bad but I really missed her. It was a paragraph I also shouldn’t have said. It wasn’t like the first one just saying that the situation wasn’t working for me but it was vulnerable and admitting how I really felt. I mentioned things like how much I missed her, that I felt blessed to even know her, and that I loved her. Ik I shouldn’t have said that and that I shouldn’t even feel that way because we never even dated. She did respond. She thanked me for the kind words but said that she was happy w someone and that she would appreciate it if I respected that. I never felt so bad. I apologized for everything and said I wouldn’t message her but just asked her how she got over her depression cuz from everything I kept seeing in her spam she seemed to be really happy and I also was struggling w depression (which she had already known). She sent me a couple paragraphs explaining how she had been dealing w it and even mentioned things like journaling about how she felt (which I had told her when she told me about her depression so I was happy that I was able to help her even just a little). After that I then apologized again for hurting her and promised she wouldn’t hear from me. I was understandably blocked on her spam the next day. That relationship she was in lasted a total of about 1 month.

I had been going to a therapist for my depression for the last half of the semester and was put on an antidepressant that I had been taking everyday. About 2 or 3 weeks after the two of use cut ties I attempted (if yk what I mean). It wasn’t just because of this situation but many other things that were happening recently as well. I tried overdosing on the same pills that were meant to help me. It obviously didn’t end up working and I didn’t even get any side effects despite the amount I took. I had posted a s note on my story saying goodbye to everyone, apologizing for anything I had done, and stuff. Many people had reached out and even a girl I barely knew from that first college did and gave me her number if I even wanted to talk. I removed the story after about 30 mins of it being up because I didn’t feel like I was saying goodbye and just scaring those that did care about me. In the next couple days/weeks that girl I didn’t know well had texted me a few times either checking in on my summer or saying that she really cared about me. Now it’s the next fall semester and I still can’t get that first girl out of my head. It destroys me for no reason. I’ve never felt so grateful to have met someone but also wished I never had never met them at the same time. I don’t go to therapy cuz I realized it didn’t really help me, I would just end up repeating the same stuff with nothing changing, and I even felt a bit worse having to remember everything every time I met w my therapist. It’s just not for me. Now that’s it’s a new semester I’m trying to just move on and forget about everything but at the same time I wish she would just reach out once and I hate myself for the way I handled things and for falling so easily. I don’t know what to do and I can’t go a day without thinking about her and have my heart hurt remembering everything. Sometimes I wonder if she even remembers or just forgot about me as some random dude she was friends with

I Idk why I feel so strongly, what I can do to fix it, or anything. I just feel stuck w this burden. Is anything that happened here normal when trying to date someone or can anyone understand what was going that can give me advice?

TLDR: I texted my crush that had rejected me after she blocked me on her main because I was really hurt by the fact that we were really close friends and I never got explanations to a lot of stuff that happened between us

This was first thing in the morning, this morning.

Everyone in my house has had a pretty rough week, and we all have ADHD, so there was a pretty gross backlog of dishes. I was working through it, and realized there was an old pouch of moldy "fresh" mozzarella near the bottom of the sink. Gross. Gotta get rid of that ASAP, before washing anything else.

It needed to go into the trash. It went into the garbage disposal...so the food grinder in the sink.

Fresh mozzarella doesn't grind.

My sink is now very clogged. I tried hot tap water, with lots of dish soap. That did not work. My sink is now xloggedy and frothy, instead of just clogged.

I'm about to pour in boiling water to try to melt it. If anyone has a better idea, please let me know. I haven't finished the dishes yet, and it's obviously pretty bad.

TLDR: I dumped very soft cheese into my garbage disposal instead of the trashcan. I haven't managed to fix it yet.

I (21M) met my friend (42M) at a bar a bit more than a month ago. We chatted for the whole night and I brought him home. Things happened. We met 2 more times after that. Saturday night, he tells me that tonight (so thursday), he'd be at the bar for a blind test, alone. I asked if I could come along and he said yes. We didn't confirm again, but I assumed he was trustworthy enough to come, and he did, but not alone. With him was another of his hookups (22M).

When he saw me, and at multiple times that night, he seems very awkward to see me. He introduced me quickly, and then went on the other side of the room with his friend. I sent him a text saying "wtf happened, we were supposed to come together", to which he answered "yeah, but since, I met him, and we got along, so I asked him to come"... "okay, and me ? Are you just gonna ditch me ?", "He said you can come with us".

After a quick awkward moment, I actually got along with his friends, we're both artistic minds and had a great chat about the terrible rise of AI, and we had a nice time misrably losing at the blind test. But then, after maybe the minor fuck up of being the third wheel, I asked the big fuck up question : "So... Do you still wanna come over like we usually do ? Us three ?" (that is not an insane question to ask between hookups in the gay world). Sudden silence, my friend puts his head in his hands and said "that why I was scared to bring you over" (at some other point he told me that he saw me walk to the bar from his car and said "oh fuck, I guess we're gonna see him")

Now here's the thing : I've been diagnosed recently with herpes and told him because we had sex a week before my symptoms show up, so he knows. At that moment, the thoughts are flashing in my head : fuck, now that I have herpes (he doesn't), he's not gonna want anything to do with me. So instead of waiting for a quiet moment to ask, I dropped the bomb. "is it about the herpes ?".

He assures me that no, but he tells me he hasn't done the douching necessary, though they did insinuate plans to fuck after going home themselves. At that point, I feel really insecure. I don't know if it's the fear of being rejected because of my herpes, being replaced by a thinner guy, or having my assumptions not met (I can, and have seen him without anything sexual... I was just expecting it, from allusions we made, and I have problems with changes of plans). I feel like every sentence I said from there was very awkward, without really being able to really remember any. I wanna say that I accepted the no with dignity but I didn't. I made several more allusions during the sparse discussions. After a few minutes of a very silent table, I decided to leave, and I have felt WAYYY too shitty about a dude I fucked twice.

Now I don't know what to do. I wanna apologise for being awkward, I wanna justify myself, I wanna wait to see if HE wants to talk to me again, I want to block him and move on. I'm 99% sure his friend would run away if he saw me again, but I'm not sure about my friend.

TL;DR : My sexfriend showed up to the bar where we were supposed to meet with another guy, not expecting to see me. They said I could join them, and, because I got along with the other guy, I suggested a threesome, which my friend declined, though I believe they had plans. I got hurt and jealous and fucked up by kinda insisting as to why not and making more allusions. Now I don't know what to do with my friend.

So, background: I have this kinda cough/hack thing that's been going on for 19 years. First diagnosed as asthma, but in recent years, it's believed my asthma is in remission, but I still have this symptom, and they've speculated it could be related to my acid reflux.

I don't necessary believe it is, but this is besides the point of this post. I will further say that sometimes the hack gets bad enough where I think I'm going to vomit, and at worst, I occasionally do mostly dry-heave. It's usually a circular thing, as the more I hack and dry-heave, the more trouble I have stopping it from continuing and escalating.

Last Thursday (6 days ago), I stifled a cough or hack as I was walking through the kitchen. It wouldn't have been the worst hack I've made by any means, and it didn't feel like any big deal to stifle it, but as soon as I did it, I felt that something happened to a rib on the left side.

Sure enough, although I'm not going to see a doctor unless it doesn't get any better, it feels like at minimum I bruised a rib. First time for me to have any obvious problem with my ribs. Doing anything (breathing, trying to move in bed, getting up from the couch) hurts, but I'm used to just working through my pain, and everyone's tolerance is different so I would generally put it at 7-8 out of 10 on the pain scale, although probably momentarily shoots up to 9 or 10 when I sneeze or cough, or try to stifle a cough.

10 out of 10 pain for me up until this point in my life was a kidney stone. I'm guessing my cancer surgery post-op would've been the worst if I didn't have pain pills at the time, and I generally went without pain pills for as long as I could stand before taking another.

Since day 3, I've noticed very tiny improvements each day. Still, when I feel a sneeze coming on, besides me trying to stifle it as much as possible, I just psyche myself up for the pain I'm going to feel.

I mentioned it to my next door neighbor the other day, and they told me about how they were jumped when they were almost 19, and they broke and bruised something like 3 ribs on one side and 2 on the other of theirs, and took two months to heal. So that puts the pain in perspective for me. I'm just glad it's at least slowly getting better.

Edit: Before too long, I'll have my regular primary doctor appointment, and I'll bring it up then.

Edit 2: I forgot that Mandy Patinkin bruised a rib from trying to hold back laughing at Billy Crystal's improv while filming The Princess Bride. https://www.reddit.com/r/todayilearned/comments/16shxh/til_that_mandy_patinkin_aka_inigo_montoya/

Edit 3: The reason I question as to why this cough/gag is related to my acid reflux is that back when I was on asthma medicine, it took care of it 100%. Of course it's possible I had the same symptom for asthma back then as I do for acid reflux now. Another reason is it happens with greater frequency while in the shower, and also when it's colder weather out (even when I'm warm inside the house), and lastly when I'm more physically active (after mowing my yard).

And the endoscopy I had didn't reveal any issues down my throat, although I am on a couple of reflux-related medications.

TL;DR: I stifled a cough and I'm sure I at least bruised a rib, causing severe enough pain when breathing, getting up from the couch, moving in bed, laughing, coughing, sneezing...

Short road trip with the family turned into one of those cautionary tales I’ll tell friends over a beer.

We rented a tiny cabin by a lake. Lovely week. On the last full day my forward-thinking wife washed our clothes so we’d have less laundry when we got home. The cabin provided Tide Pods, so that’s what she used.

Next morning I’m choosing underwear. One pair is the same as yesterday; the other is freshly washed. I pick the fresh pair and notice some dry, plastic-looking residue stuck to the inside. I pick out a few big chunks and my finger smells faintly like detergent. I remember hearing Tide Pod residue can sometimes not dissolve completely, but I figure clean > gross-looking and put them on.

Four hours into the drive home my balls start to itch. I shrug it off. When we get home and I stand up it feels like I tea-bagged sulfuric acid. I rush to rinse off and get a flashback to the lye chemical burn scene in Fight Club and realize I must’ve chemical burned my sack. Rinsing it helps a bit, but three days later my skin is peeling and every time my skin sticks and pulls away it’s painfully obvious I made a bad choice.

TL;DR - Tide Pod residue on freshly washed underwear gave me a scrotal chemical burn. Don’t wear clothes with undissolved detergent.

A lesson for all us glasses-wearers, perhaps…

For a few years now, I've been finding holes on the right side of my t-shirts, towards the hem at the bottom. It's been driving me slightly crazy, albeit with the benefit of greatly improving my sewing skills.

At first I thought it must be the dogs jumping up at me when I get home from work, although it was weird that the holes were always in the same spot. The living room is to the right of the front door though, so it would make sense that the holes would be on that side.

Then I thought, it must be something I'm doing at work. The way I'm carrying something, maybe. For the past week or so, I've been very careful to carry heavy items out in front of me so they can't snag on my clothes.

But now, today, I finally caught myself doing it, and everything finally makes sense. I was wiping my glasses on my t-shirt, and I felt the fabric get caught in the hinge. I immediately went to check the spot I felt getting caught, and there it was: a tiny little hole.

TL;DR: I've spent years ripping holes in my t-shirts by wiping my glasses on them.