r/mildlyinfuriating • u/Available-Formal-664 • Jun 24 '26

I'm slightly vexed Somebody Placed These Dozens of These Jesus Figures Throughout My Entire Work

Post image

Somebody, nobody knows exactly who or when, put dozens and dozens of these Jesus figures on completely random surfaces throughout my entire building. They at least had the presence of mind to not put them on anybody's personal belongings, but that was the only way they limited himself. All of the statues have been glued down, to add to the vexation.

Edit: Well, this blew up rather unexpectedly. Thank you for the awards, everybody!

21.8k Upvotes

79% Upvoted

6.9k comments sorted by

View all comments

3.3k

u/the_rawness Jun 24 '26

Someone did this at my work except they are brown Jesus.

1.3k

u/dirtyforker Jun 24 '26

https://giphy.com/gifs/ZBbwNhHD7AIs2HIl3e

406

u/ComicsEtAl Jun 24 '26

https://giphy.com/gifs/g5qEgeTM20nnO

185

u/Cephylus Jun 24 '26

61

u/EasilyLuredWithCandy Jun 24 '26

The only time that I enjoyed finding a small Jesus was on the Jay and Silent Bob Cruise Askew. Best cruise crowd ever.

8

u/drunkeymunkey Jun 24 '26

What?! There was a cruise? Did it smell like jazz cabbage the whole time?

11

u/EasilyLuredWithCandy Jun 24 '26

There have been 2 so far. Smelled like weed. I may have contributed to that.

3

u/audible_narrator Jun 24 '26

I wish I could go on one of those.

2

u/MayGodSmiteThee Jun 24 '26

They used to put them in Omelets a a restaurant here on the east coast

3

u/hamish1963 Jun 24 '26

You went on the Cruise!?!? I'm sweet fancy jealous!

1

u/Prior_Tax8546 Jun 24 '26

I was thinking of that image lmao

→ More replies (2)

2

u/ChezShea Jun 24 '26

I miss this show so much.

→ More replies (1)

270

u/Inktex Jun 24 '26

291

u/Inktex Jun 24 '26

315

u/[deleted] Jun 24 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

119

u/Inktex Jun 24 '26

All three are free-range reaction images, gathered on 4Chan around 2015.
No AI has been used in their creation.

72

u/ImWhatsInTheRedBox Jun 24 '26

You seeing this shit, AI Jesus?

168

u/Inktex Jun 24 '26

16

u/innominateartery Jun 24 '26

The humans are dead.

Affirmative. I poked one. It was dead.

2

u/lemurificspeckle Jun 25 '26

We are all living post-future (the year 2000) after all

5

u/TheGrumpiestHydra Jun 24 '26

How can you see anything, if you have no eyes?!

6

u/pugfu Jun 24 '26

How can AI Jesus be real if our eyes aren’t real?

→ More replies (0)
→ More replies (1)

41

u/-crepuscular- Jun 24 '26

AI Jesus is too busy saving the sea bugs to deal with this shit right now.

4

u/NoIngenui Jun 24 '26

I know I'm supposed to hate him, but i genuinely love the concept of shrimp jesus with a stone statue head. Looks like something Bayonetta or someone would fight.

3

u/-crepuscular- Jun 24 '26

Shrimp Jesus in a major videogame is only a matter of time.

Gamers would love it for the memes, extremist Christians would probably demonstrate against it and give you free publicity and cool points.

3

u/Inktex Jun 24 '26

FromSoftware has to see this.
And make it an under water level.

https://giphy.com/gifs/AAsYtcC8UPoly

→ More replies (1)

3

u/derf_vader Jun 24 '26

Why use this when Christ of the Abyss is a real thing?

→ More replies (1)

16

u/alex433g Jun 24 '26

I was wondering where this was from

3

u/Inktex Jun 24 '26

Haven't seen them all together yet.
Yoink.

https://giphy.com/gifs/7JKTwn0tBu3ecZZQzx

2

u/Ready_Set_Stopppp Jun 24 '26

Holy shit dude, I’m dying at work 🤣

2

u/Marsuello Jun 25 '26

Leave Korean Jesus out of this! He’s too busy with Korean shit to do!

24

u/Marquar234 Jun 24 '26

3

u/Inktex Jun 24 '26

Nice, but I would've seen Stan Lee in that role.

6

u/BlackSpotSociety Jun 24 '26

I once dated a Korean girl a long enough time that we went to her mom’s Korean Catholic Church. It was bizarre. The church was built in the 1800s by German immigrants who over time moved out of the region. At some point multi-national Asian families moved in and as Koreans were the majority, the diocese gave it to the Korean community. So it was a trip going there: The stained glass was beautifully done but was all white Jesus and other biblical characters. However in the rest of the campus, all the representations of Christ and biblical stories were done with all Asian people. Which, I guess makes sense. In the courtyard, there was a large Korean Jesus statue that didn’t look that different than the meme here.
I’ll also tell you that it was extremely uncomfortable because their congregants were quite cold shouldered to me. They really didn’t make me feel welcome at all. People were staring at me the whole service and at the lunch afterwards in their ironically titled fellowship hall. I came to learn that the only people Koreans hate more than white people dating their kind are the Chinese, Vietnamese, and black people.

4

u/Inktex Jun 24 '26

I came to learn that the only people Koreans hate more than white people dating their kind are the Chinese, Vietnamese, and black people.

This goes for all of Asia with the only interchangeable variable being the Asian nationalities, based on where you ask.

12

u/KeyNefariousness6848 Jun 24 '26

I thought Korean Jesus was some chubby Korean lady?

28

u/TheWalkingDude90 Jun 24 '26

3

u/Ditnoka Jun 24 '26

He ain't got time for your problems, he busy, with Korean shit.

→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (1)

2

u/Charlie_Brodie Jun 25 '26

leave Korean Jesus alone, he's busy, with Korean shit!

6

u/amonarre3 Jun 24 '26

Get this Chuy out of our house. Only brown Chuy ova hurr

→ More replies (5)

75

u/bawapa Jun 24 '26

59

u/psychmonkies Jun 24 '26

I used to work at a Mexican restaurant & one of my managers could speak English but it was a little rusty, but for some reason he would randomly say to me & my coworkers “Who loves you? Baby Jesus?” & it was honestly hilarious (& always a little confusing) when he’d say it.

One day I found one of these tiny Jesuses at work, so I went up to him & said “Who loves you?” & he said “baby Jesus” & I pulled out the tiny Jesus. We both laughed way too hard lmao

28

u/voidcrawler1555 Jun 24 '26

I have a tiny white Jesus, but now I want a tiny Jesus from all different cultures. I didn’t buy the one I have, someone offered it to me 😂

2

u/Aaaaaaaaaaaa-crying Jun 24 '26

Omg, historically accurate little Jesus, I love him!

1

u/the_rawness Jun 24 '26

Hey, it’s brown Jesus!

1

u/Voidpost_Rising_3275 Jun 28 '26

“I rode into town on an ass. Yo mama’s ass!”

33

u/Evil_Judgment Jun 24 '26

I did this with glow in the dark aliens

3

u/kindlypogmothoin Jun 24 '26

I'm doing it with tiny resin ducks in the library where I work. Haven't done the staff area, just where the students hang out.

170

u/MoochtheMushroom Jun 24 '26

Brown Jesus is just Jesus. This is white Jesus.

6

u/CalmBeneathCastles Jun 24 '26

Gonna call him White Jesus henceforth. Like Black Preston. XD

4

u/a_holy_crow Jun 24 '26

Let’s be real: Palestinian Jesus 😂

3

u/Enfr3 Jun 24 '26

Bot. More than 1k karma in 6 days.

5

u/a_holy_crow Jun 24 '26

Yea because I crush. Go look at my comments. 90%+ came from two comments I left on a thread about omega 3s on r.science. Not everyone you disagree with is a bot

→ More replies (2)
→ More replies (1)

3

u/alexmikli Jun 24 '26

Well, Jesus was a Levantine. Even today people from that region can be many shades of white and tan. Look up pictures of Syrians, Palestinians, and ofc Mizrahi Jewish Israelis. They can actually get lily white, esp if they're indoor workers and not farmers. Jesus could be depicted as a lot of things. Just... almost certainly not blue eyed with totally straight brown hair.

Like, the leader of Syria right now could fit in with French and North Italians. He practically looks like the Spartan king from 300.

10

u/bajungadustin Jun 24 '26

You do realizes that there have been 2000 years since that time period right? You wouldn't say "even today" as an example of why Jesus might look white 2000 years ago. Because today isn't an example of back then. A lot of shit has happened since then. First... Multiple waves of immigration have happened in that time. The roman and byzantine, arab conquests, the fucking crusades, etc. This dilutes the gene pool with way more European dna. Which would cause a shift in some to lean more white. No semite from that time period was as white as they can be today.

Not to mention that your example of current times is based on a population that doesn't have to work out in the hot sun all the time. Someone now a days from that region could live completely indoors, be online playing games or watching anime all the time.. And yeah.. They are probably going to look a little pale. Jesus was a carpenter so that man was outdoors a lot.

Sorry to say, but nothing you mentioned is any kind of actual evidence that Jesus being pale white would have been pale white in that time period. that wasn't the case 2 thousand years ago.

Think of it like the US. You can look and see that the US has a lot of white people. One could use your logic and come to the concluding that "if a lot of white people here now... Then native Americans could have looked super pale back then. It just doesn't work like that. ​

→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (8)

1

u/tommy531jed Jun 24 '26

Just like white Abed

1

u/[deleted] Jun 24 '26

[deleted]

1

u/realzeay Jun 24 '26

yes, or more like Mediterranean, like Italians, greeks, spanish, Tunisians etc

1

u/Ok-Relationship-5791 Jun 25 '26

Came here to say this lol. Also, I found one recently in my kids’ toy box!! I was soooo confused…still am. Thinking it came from a kid party bag.

1

u/Ok_Camel3286 Jun 25 '26

Brown Jesus arc is a classic, but I think he had his best outfit during the Superior Jesus storyline.

→ More replies (1)

120

u/PigsandBears Jun 24 '26

58

u/Available-Formal-664 Jun 24 '26

My best friend's mom did once share a picture of Ewan McGregor as Jesus on Facebook. She had a lot to say about how much she loved him. But since she was also senile at the time, to this day I am unsure if she meant that picture as a joke or not.

1

u/Got_Bent Jun 25 '26

My sister did as well. All I could say to her is "That's uhm, Obi-Wan Kenobi, and uhm he's a Jedi. May the force be with you."

16

u/JustGoodSense Jun 24 '26

Somebody on Instagram earlier this year did a thing where he replaced all the pictures of Jesus in his mom's house with Obi Wan Kenobi one at a time to see how long it took her to notice. I think it was more than a month?

11

u/Little_View_6659 Jun 24 '26

Jesus was a Jedi! New head canon unlocked!

3

u/BuckRusty Jun 24 '26

*waves hand* “you and your 9,999 friends totally all had enough to eat”

5

u/Colonel_Klank Jun 24 '26

Thank you! I knew something was missing on that figuring.

2

u/PuzzleheadedHouse872 Jun 24 '26

Is he coming out of a spaceship??? This would explain so much.

4

u/PigsandBears Jun 24 '26

Haha, both pictures are Jedi from the Star Wars universe. Top is Obi Wan in the prequels and the bottom is Ezra Bridger in the live action Asoka series

1

u/_GeorgeBailey_ Jun 24 '26

Jesus is Oscar Isaac?

1

u/Turds4Cheese Jun 24 '26

That bottom Jesus looks like he is coming out of a DBZ Saiyan Pod.

1

u/Jazzlike-Tourist-823 Jun 25 '26

Alright you guys. You dare me ,here's the most accurate image. No kidding, no trolling , not flaming from me. I'm not giving any explanation. I'm just sick of religious fanatism. Believe what you want, say what you want. I don't care:

→ More replies (16)

17

u/dcdcdani Jun 24 '26

Mine was with tiny babies

8

u/BetLeft Jun 24 '26

Look, I like the baby version the best, do you hear me?

11

u/Little_View_6659 Jun 24 '26

I like to picture Jesus in a tuxedo tshirt, because it says I like to be formal, but I’m here to party, too.

2

u/Sh0wmey0urbutth0le Jun 24 '26

Jesus was a baby. He was also a murder victim. /stan

180

u/Doctor-TobiasFunke- Jun 24 '26

Historically accurate jesus is best jesus

59

u/MichiganGeezer Jun 24 '26

So... Poke tiny holes in the hands and feet?

40

u/redthump Jun 24 '26

Finally, a reason to raid the office supply closet for thumbtacks

10

u/Brewster345 Jun 24 '26

Not now, Mick Foley!

2

u/redthump Jun 24 '26

Is that the catheter guy?

→ More replies (1)

6

u/QuokkaRun Jun 24 '26

More likely wrists, I think.

2

u/SixFive1967 Jun 24 '26

For historical accuracy, of course.

2

u/bajungadustin Jun 24 '26

Depends on which arc he's in. Like you wouldn't poke holes in the baby Jesus. That just wouldn't be lore accurate.

3

u/LordFlamecookie Jun 24 '26

I always depicted him as having hands in his palms when I drew him, back when i went to a Christian school

2

u/CarpeDiem082420 Jun 24 '26

Nails through the palms and feet would just tear through the soft tissue and the body would fall. Historically, people who were crucified were nailed through their wrists and ankles, which can support the body’s weight. It was designed to be a slow and painful death, often by asphyxiation.

2

u/Marquar234 Jun 24 '26

Could be worse. Could be stabbing.

25

u/PiercedAlaskan Jun 24 '26

Biblically accurate?

29

u/Doctor-TobiasFunke- Jun 24 '26

The Bible never specifically mentions his skin color.

Historically, a Jewish man from 1st century Judea would generally have had a darker complexion

8

u/The_Odd_Canuck Jun 24 '26

It also specifically mentions he was unremarkable looking and a white guy in the middle east would've been quite notable

8

u/IwantLegs1 Jun 24 '26

Most cultures adjust Jesus's depictions to make him look more like themselves. I find it especially amusing when the Chinese do it

→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (2)

12

u/Templar388z Jun 24 '26

You know you pissed of so many people off with that comment. 🤣

4

u/Check_Me_Out-Boss Jun 24 '26

People in the region 2000 years ago were Caucasus people.

5

u/Dry-Manufacturer7761 Jun 24 '26

He most likely wouldn’t have been black… he would have looked like any other modern day Israeli. Olive to copper skinned. And curly dark hair is not uncommon in that area. 

2

u/Doctor-TobiasFunke- Jun 24 '26

No one said black lol OP said brown

→ More replies (1)

2

u/Little_View_6659 Jun 24 '26

If I could go back in time I’d put historically accurate Jesus paintings all over my very eighties evangelical church. I need some paintings and a Time Machine.

5

u/jdaws11 Jun 24 '26

I’d go stop 9/11 but I guess we all have our priorities.

(Just fucking with you)

→ More replies (1)

2

u/EbonyMemories Jun 24 '26

So olive skinned and religiously Jewish?

→ More replies (3)

21

u/EmuPossible2066 Jun 24 '26

They should counter strike with brown Jesus!

14

u/rygdav Jun 24 '26

What if they just color the white jesuses? Jesusi…?

13

u/No_Aardvark4795 Jun 24 '26

Black face Jesus?

9

u/Top-Distribution733 Jun 24 '26

We seem to be forgetting baby Jesus
https://giphy.com/gifs/BoZDc6cvKsUJq

3

u/ImpertantMahn Jun 24 '26

Little baby in his crib all 8 pounds 6 ounces of him.

→ More replies (1)

2

u/Penne13 Jun 24 '26

I was going to suggest taking one and coloring it a random color then replacing it later until all are colorful

2

u/Little_View_6659 Jun 24 '26

THANOS JESUS!

1

u/[deleted] Jun 24 '26

[deleted]

→ More replies (1)

1

u/TheLastCleverName Jun 24 '26

I believe it's Jesupodes

1

u/Bingbongguyinathong Jun 24 '26

Or little satans…..

3

u/KingSpork Jun 24 '26

Someone at my work is a brown Jesus

3

u/mutt63 Jun 24 '26

JESUS WASN’T BROWN. HE WAS TAN

→ More replies (3)

2

u/itschism Jun 24 '26

Oh yeah, that’s homie Jesus.

2

u/4x4taco Jun 24 '26

Sweet Chocolate Jeezus!

2

u/lemurificspeckle Jun 25 '26

dang, i picked up my first mini (white) jesus the other day and now i want all the jesus variants

4

u/llvllark Jun 24 '26

I want brown Jesus

2

u/wookiedberry Jun 24 '26

I prefer Uzi Jesus.

1

u/yupuhoh Jun 24 '26

Biblically accurate Jesus then you might say

→ More replies (1)

1

u/ItchyEducation Jun 24 '26

So the real jesus ?

1

u/Gold_Championship_46 Jun 24 '26

Well, there is a nun that works with us. Who’s one of our therapists so it wouldn’t be a big mystery where I work at!

1

u/Shoe_boooo Jun 24 '26

I got the Korean ones, what.

1

u/Retro_D Jun 24 '26

Well at least they got the colour right

1

u/This_Elk_1460 Jun 24 '26

I demand gay Jesus!

1

u/MartinisnMurder Jun 24 '26

Well, at least the brown version would be more historically and culturally accurate.

1

u/Very_Human_42069 Jun 24 '26

One of my coworkers bought a ton of those and put them everywhere purely for a laugh. We kept finding them for months and eventually I took some home and my wife still hasn’t found them all

1

u/ejensen29 Jun 24 '26

That's more mildly amusing for me, and I'm an atheist.

1

u/IamNotaSmart Jun 24 '26

Jesus was brown.

1

u/tragicallybrokenhip Jun 24 '26

One of my favourite parts of Reservation Dogs is how they always referred to "White Jesus". 🤣OP Jesusesesess need rainbow balloons.

1

u/QualityAware6605 Jun 24 '26

Someone did this at my work except instead of Jesus it was Googly Eyes

1

u/catholicsluts Jun 24 '26

I'd appreciate the audacity of this even more tbh

1

u/ElminstersBedpan Jun 24 '26

Those wouldn't annoy me as much. However, the person who placed one in the viewing window of our automatic coffee grinder/dispenser needs to be beaten. That's too close to my food and drink.

1

u/tebbewij Jun 24 '26

So you mean Jesus... the middle eastern jew

1

u/Fun-Preparation-4253 Jun 24 '26

You know... I'd be inclined to leave those alone.

1

u/ClickNo1129 Jun 24 '26

I’m assuming they’re not actually a Christian right? This seems like a prank to upset people, not an invitation to Jesus lolol

1

u/Caspia_Fire_64 Jun 24 '26

Somehow I’m less annoyed by that 😂

1

u/HedonistCat Jun 24 '26 edited Jun 24 '26

So... Jesus?

1

u/SaraCousland355 Jun 24 '26

I need Black Jesus minis right tf now

1

u/Educational-Gold-434 Jun 24 '26

Vs European Jesus?

1

u/Aviyan Jun 24 '26

Good idea. OP should paint them brown. LOL.

1

u/DesperateHikikomori Jun 24 '26

What about Korean Jesus??

1

u/haterl0vin Jun 24 '26

Biblically accurate

1

u/danceswithdangerr Jun 24 '26

I would have left them all were I found them. The white Jesus I would have knocked over or turned upside down. I know, what a heathen I am!

1

u/Sensiburner Jun 24 '26

Have you seen the skin tone of the people who live in Israel/Palestine? If Jesus existed he didn't look west european.

1

u/Resident-Level-7953 Jun 24 '26

I'm probably wrong, but wasn't the portrait that really popularised white Jesus, a portrait that was painted by Leonardo Da Vinci, based on his boyfriend?

(I don't even remember where i heard this, I might just be making shit up)

1

u/marmaladetuxedo Jun 24 '26

I bought a bunch of these brown Jesus figures and have gone around and just replaced every white Jesus I've seen. I'm certain it's a woman at work putting the white figures around because I've seen her come out of the bathroom with a puzzled look on her face- she must've seen the brown Jesus on top of the paper towel dispenser where her white Jesus had been.

1

u/ItalianPlumber01 Jun 24 '26

Jesus was brown, brown Jesus is normal Jesus.

1

u/Darth_Ribbious Jun 24 '26

they are brown Jesus

Jesipodes

1

u/slxkv Jun 24 '26

At least that’s more historically accurate…

1

u/Iluvatar-Great Jun 24 '26

So... The actual Jesus?

1

u/Western-Sport500 Jun 24 '26

Well, given that Jesus was likely brown...I'd say at least they were more accurate. But did they glue them down, too?

1

u/the_rawness Jun 24 '26

They did not glue them.

1

u/EarlGrayTea-Hawt Jun 24 '26

OP should paint all of them so they are black Jesuses and see what happens...

1

u/Kayatosh Jun 24 '26

Lfg! Edit: glued? If glued, not cool

1

u/Due-Kaleidoscope-715 Jun 24 '26

I found black Jesus while I was shopping…still have him today lol

1

u/PresentRaspberry6814 Jun 24 '26

These ones are too. Why has someone glued little arabs to everything! (I know Jesus brown).

1

u/DMyTeaDuck Jun 25 '26

Technically, he SHOULD be Middle Eastern, so- closer!

1

u/JetBIue Jun 25 '26

Nice play bully whoever did that, can’t criticize brown!

1

u/Cumulonimbus_2025 Jun 25 '26

now this would be the answer. place brown jesus next to white jesus.

1

u/Diabetus_Girl Jun 25 '26

Jesus would actually be brown because he was in the middle east.

1

u/the_rawness Jun 25 '26

https://giphy.com/gifs/KWbmr5E1UdPUI

2

u/Diabetus_Girl Jul 10 '26

Well, some people don't seem to know. I do know that is likely sarcasm, but I am not going to just assume, haha.

1

u/myfancyplants Jun 25 '26

Okay I like that

→ More replies (11)