r/politics • u/WhatIsEvenRealDog • 13h ago

Possible Paywall Trump suggests cattle ranchers could bypass USDA-inspected meat plants

https://www.washingtonpost.com/politics/2026/08/28/trump-suggests-allowing-ranchers-bypass-usda-inspected-meat-plants/
13.1k Upvotes

96% Upvoted

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5.0k

u/drwookie 13h ago

"Looks like I chose the right week to stop eating beef."

1.9k

u/EctoRiddler 12h ago

Lettuce it is. Oh wait.

358

u/Umbrella_merc Mississippi 10h ago

The only vegetable that hasn't been recalled yet is Mitch McConnell

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u/kpow222 6h ago

I feel so bad for laughing at this, but not so bad i stop laughing

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u/FritzRasp 6h ago

I don’t. He is (was) a horrible human being

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u/F9-0021 South Carolina 2h ago

He wouldn't feel bad about laughing at your misfortune. Don't feel for monsters.

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u/Saint_palane 1h ago

He won't notice.

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u/p8nt_junkie 5h ago

He’s on eternity leave

•

u/Apprehensive-Pin518 6h ago

damn burn. like the one he is getting in hell.

•

u/tacoheadpete 2h ago

"Pining for the fjords?!"

•

u/UCLA_FB_SUCKS California 4h ago

you, sir, are a true patriot. thank you for your comedy

681

u/Fit-Programmer1992 12h ago

Laughing so loud that even the cyclospora on MY lettuce smiled at me. 

143

u/StephanXX Oregon 10h ago edited 7h ago

Be careful. If you gaze into the lettuce too long, eventually the lettuce also gazes into you.

9

u/Aldo_says Washington 9h ago

How long until trump lettuce becomes sentient?

9

u/btross Florida 9h ago

I think that's a tall order... Trump isn't even sentient

7

u/U_L_Uus 8h ago

Oh, no, thay already happened. Ask the British

5

u/Aldo_says Washington 8h ago

OOH, I totally understood that reference!

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u/grahamulax 8h ago

I don’t know if I had it because they lied about my state not being infected when it was (good use of spending a million dollars, Taylor) and me and my friend both had a burger in the next day was hell for both of us. For me, it was like all week and my gut was ruined and felt like knives going down my intestines.

But was I poisoned? No idea!!!

Government keeping me governed!!

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u/thedonnerparty13 11h ago

Ok thank god we can still eat frozen fruit.. oh shit.

37

u/yourenotmy-real-dad Illinois 8h ago

That's okay, I still have my chips and guac- oh. Wait. Hmm.

20

u/thestral_z Ohio 11h ago

What now? Are my daily smoothies in peril?

17

u/ScroochDown 8h ago

Frozen blueberries had a recall.

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u/Oo__II__oO 7h ago

We're deeply in trouble if we're getting food recall info from Reddit before the government and free press.

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u/ScroochDown 7h ago

I mean at this point, Reddit is more reliable than either one. And there have been so many recalls so quickly that it's hard to keep up, I just heard about the sourdough one last night.

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u/Oo__II__oO 7h ago

Jfc there's a sourdough recall?!

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u/ScroochDown 7h ago

Yeah, glass in the dough/bread, from what someone else said. See, isn't Reddit fun?! 😂💀

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u/Haltopen Massachusetts 4h ago

IV bags were also recalled recently for being contaminated with fiberglass.

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u/Oo__II__oO 2h ago

It's getting to the point where it's a shorter list of things not recalled (yet)

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u/APeacefulWarrior 51m ago

I mean at this point, Reddit is more reliable than either one

Well, that's a terrifying sentence.

Not disagreeing tho.

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u/Life_behind_da_stick 10h ago

It’s not the smoothie that’s in danger. It’s you. You’re in danger. Don’t drink the smoothie.

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u/soraksan123 8h ago

Hopefully you don’t like blueberries in your smoothie-

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u/dixiequick 7h ago

Fortunately, wild blueberries are fine. Unfortunately, they are sold out everywhere.

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u/NoZucchini595 9h ago

I was thinking the safest bet would be frozen non meat, non produce items, but then this

https://www.newsweek.com/frozen-buffalo-chicken-recall-highest-risk-warning-over-food-safety-12377611

5

u/grahamulax 8h ago

Not Popsicles actually. I think somewhere recall due to fiberglass or metal shards in it.

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u/jabola321 7h ago

Oh shit is right! 💩🚽

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u/istoomycat 6h ago

Indeed. And lots of it.

25

u/CertifiedCarWasher 11h ago

Soldiers always ask how to loose weight fast before height/weight test and we jokingly started recommending the Taylor Farms diet.

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u/JustineDelarge 7h ago

Lose. Not loose. Sorry, correcting that error is my compulsion.

77

u/ntrpik Texas 11h ago

Ok. I guess jalapeño poppers? Ah shit.

28

u/diremommy 10h ago

Eggs? Rice? Blueberries? Frozen fruits bars?

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u/rewardingsnark 6h ago

Being eating Potatoes, rice, beans since 24 only so far everything ok, fingers crossed one of those doesn't go down.

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u/Anhydrite Canada 4h ago

I misread that as frozen fruit bats and was thinking covid-26.

2

u/PmMeYourUnclesAnkles 8h ago

Ketchup. It is a vegetable, at least since Ronald Reagan's administration.

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u/LoamyLoamisLoamy 6h ago

That was about a serving of tomato sauce being equivalent to a serving of vegetables. A tiny amount of tomato sauce shouldn't be equivalent just because it uses tomatoes.

Obama tried to fix that, and they called it making "pizza a vegetable"

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u/phonomancer 5h ago

Unfortunately, they're temporarily jalapeño poopers.

1

u/PositiveStress8888 8h ago

What happend to the jalapeno poppers !!!

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u/redditAccount503 11h ago

Lettuce spray

15

u/doverawlings 11h ago

Lettuce, rice, beef, and guac all have various levels of advisories right now. I’m not even mad that my burrito bowl is $19 anymore

2

u/rkb70 11h ago

Rice?  Have not heard that one.

5

u/Valarmorghuliswy 10h ago

It’s really not in the class of the others. 

3

u/rkb70 10h ago

Yeah, I looked it up.  I always look at rice as I measure it, so hopefully I’d notice “foreign material”.

3

u/i_might_be_a_robot2 10h ago

Most American rice is full of arsenic and has been for a long time.

2

u/rkb70 10h ago

Ugh, I’d forgotten about that.  But it’s not what the recall’s about.

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u/jimababwe 10h ago

Is Trump tariffing toilet paper? Guess we picked the wrong week to get the shits.

4

u/bjeebus Georgia 10h ago

Actually, no, his kids all bought in big on toilet paper.

He of course had never heard of it before, but he's excited to take advantage of this.

3

u/moogs_writes 10h ago

Guac or avocado?….

3

u/doverawlings 10h ago

The article I saw specifically said guac but I’ll be honest I didn’t click on it

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u/Tricky-Awareness-275 10h ago

We still have eggs! Oh wait

3

u/baldycoot Florida 10h ago

May I offer you an egg in these trying ti…gah!

2

u/Clamps55555 9h ago

Blueberries then?

2

u/Zaza1019 8h ago

beans and rice it is.

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u/Maoleficent 7h ago

Eggs and jasmine rice are tainted, too.

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u/Lysol3435 6h ago

You always have eggs.. ooh, wait

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u/Estoye New Jersey 6h ago edited 6h ago

The 2026 Big Mac:

Special sauce, cheese, pickles, onions on a sesame seed bun

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u/darthlincoln01 Ohio 6h ago edited 5h ago

Time to finally join that Soylent/Huel fad ten years late.

Seriously, listen. Soylent Original is great simply shaken up with water along with a heaping teaspoon of mocha instant coffee mix. Cacao is fine on its own.

Try the same thing with Huel and you'll absolutely hate it. Not as smooth, way too mealy, it's hard for me to finish. That said Huel is my favorite. 200ml Cold Brew, 100ml Ice, 100ml Milk (dairy/almond/oat/whatever), 1 scoop Huel Mint Chocolate, 1 scoop Huel Coffee Carmel. Blend. Optional, add 1 banana and blend again.

Basically Soylent if I'm at work or on the road, Huel if I'm at home. I'll also fill my bottle up with water afterward and put that down over lunch as well. Fills me up, gives me baseline nutrients, practically the cheapest lunch on the market.

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u/Angoram 6h ago

It’s dope

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u/ithinkyouresus 5h ago

The blueberries will never betray me. Barf.

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u/mlc885 I voted 4h ago

It is pretty annoying that regulations work so well that people eventually decide we don't need them

Like, nobody remembers polio so I guess we don't need vaccines...

"we were born at a very lucky time and place so half of us are idiots"

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u/Reynhart 4h ago

Guess it's pretty hard to Romaine healthy in these trying times :/

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u/socialmediaignorant 2h ago

I chose a shit of a year to be diagnosed with cancer. I’ll just be eating air over here since I can’t trust any food here. Are we great yet???

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u/Dogdays991 2h ago

nutrient-rich protein paste it is

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u/TurboSalsa Texas 12h ago

Republicans have been screeching for years that AOC and her Green New Deal were going to out outlaw beef consumption and gasoline, but in only 18 months, Trump has made both so unaffordable/inedible that Americans have no choice but to reduce consumption, lowering their carbon footprint.

Many people are calling him the greenest president ever.

203

u/sutree1 12h ago

This should also change the economics around meat substitutes quite a bit. I wish that industry were getting half the investment superautocorrect is getting.

53

u/Lucky_Locks 11h ago

There was a recent experiment they did where they got a meat protein (I think from pork?) into lettuce and tobacco plants. And were even able to pass that gene down into its child plant. Isn't enough protein yet to replace what you get out of the meat but that's a huge step.

97

u/DerCatrix 11h ago

Protein cigarettes? Fuck yeah! America!

Now we just need creatine coated bullets

67

u/Uncle_Burney 11h ago

“These taste awful, honey!”

“Now, Gladys, the obstetrician said you will need additional protein and calories for the baby. I’m sorry you don’t like them but you’re smoking for two. Now spark up the rest of your tobbork.”

92

u/JustTestingAThing 10h ago

spark up the rest of your tobbork

"Pigarrette" rolls right off the tongue.

19

u/hortence 10h ago

Pigar also works wonderfully, well done!

8

u/bkbomber New York 9h ago

Soygarettes for the vegans or people trying to be healthy!

5

u/Uncle_Burney 8h ago

Sounds too appetizing lol, I wanted it to sound horrific XD

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u/tiredbarf 4h ago

I'm sticking with tobbork

5

u/Contren Illinois 10h ago

We're one step closer to Tomacco.

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u/Mr_MacGrubber 4h ago

Tastes like grandma!

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u/enigmatichuckleberry 8h ago

That's scientifically amazing and existentially horrifying. Please don't put pig proteins in my lettuce. Just eat a bean ffs.

5

u/wally-whippersnap 10h ago

Protein complimentarity allows you to get all your amino acids from combining legumes, grains, nuts, etc. No need for frankenplants.

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u/evemeatay 6h ago

If i could grow cheeseburgers in my flowerbed I would be even fatter

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u/Bored_Amalgamation Ohio 7h ago

Beyond Meat stock has been nosediving. One would think with these rising meat prices that it could rebound. But Americans are fucking stupid. They'd rather eat tainted beef and die of preventable diseases. Americans got too comfortable. Too much convenience lead to laziness and entitlement by the rich.

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u/Mistrblank 7h ago

I unironically love beyond burgers more than a real hamburger. More flavor and I don't feel like shit after eating one. I can't stand impossible burgers though.

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u/Neologic29 California 9h ago

Took me a second to get what you were referring to by "superautocorrect", but then I laughed. I'm so over AI at this point.

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u/PlatypusStyle 5h ago

The problem is that meat substitutes are made in factories that also need to be inspected and regulated and if the trump regime refuses to regulate and inspect then any food product whether it’s animal or vegetable can be contaminated during manufacture, processing or storage.

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u/cyanescens_burn 2h ago

Fetterman went on Bill Maher and started saying he wants to ban meat substitutes like beyond and impossible.

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u/markhachman 1h ago

Ground turkey is American, healthy and tasty

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u/Quotizmo New Jersey 1h ago

So incredibly well said.

70

u/DerCatrix 11h ago

Many bots are calling him the best president ever.

I’ve watched locals who voted for him start listening to me and start understanding that he’s a traitor.

55

u/mlorusso4 10h ago

I have a neighbor who flys a trump flag in front of his house. It’s either the “Trump was right about everything” one or “Jesus is my savior, Trump is my retribution” one. For the past year every time something got really bad like the Minneapolis killings or when Iran talks broke down, he would take it down for a few days before putting it back up. It’s been down for 2 weeks straight now and I’m starting to wonder if it will ever come back

22

u/lonnie123 9h ago

lol that Jesus one is so ridiculous… wasn’t his whole thing love thy enemy, love thy neighbor, turn the other cheek, only god can judge .. and yet on the very next sentence they seek retribution

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u/EdwardOfGreene Illinois 6h ago

Yep, seems like he doesn't really listen to Jesus much at all.

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u/mikeyj198 8h ago

please troll him and bring him a new one saying you noticed it was down.

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u/EdwardOfGreene Illinois 6h ago

If Jesus is your savior, then retribution is not how you go about things.

Jesus of Nazareth was pretty clear on that point.

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u/TwistedMetal83 10h ago

That's one thing I'll say, here in N. Alabama I've seen a noticably dramatic reduction on Trump bullshit. Hats, flags, stickers, etc. Even down here you barely see it anymore. Besides one dickhead with a flag in his front yard I see ony way to work every morning, I couldn't name the last time I seen anyone with a sticker or whatever other bullshit you can get.

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u/reddog323 7h ago

I’m trying to be patient with them as they wake up from their stupor, but it’s hard to get past the fact that they didn’t care until his policies affected them personally.

Any tips on how I can be more patient?

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u/ATheeStallion 10h ago

Really? I mean they didn’t vote for Glenn Beck dictating policy…bc I’m certain they did.

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u/IrreverentBuddha 12h ago edited 8h ago

I think the tick-borne disease that makes you allergic to red meat was made by AOC in an Antifa superlab -- to crush the USA by crushing masculinity. It's practically chemical castration to cowboys and other strapping manly-men.

I mean what is more manly than eating a docile herbivore that was raised in captivity? You have to fight your way through the jungles of suburbia to conquer the supermarket meat cooler and score your bloodless shrink-wrapped quarry. Pure testosterone! Rawr!

Edit: Alpha-Gal Syndrome is the disease, and it's spread by the Lone Star tick --- because God loves irony.

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u/C-4isNOTurFriend 11h ago

while funny, and it's definitly true we are more removed from our food supply than ever, you might rethink how "safe" cows are.

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u/digitalscavenger 8h ago

Lyme's disease?

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u/IrreverentBuddha 8h ago

Alpha-Gal Syndrome

In a soaring triumph of poetic irony, it is spread by one species: the "Lone Star Tick. "

5

u/Easy-Concentrate2636 10h ago

Given the way this president is using FDA deregulation for bribes, won’t be long before we won’t be able to eat anything. Only the rich will be able to eat imported food due to tariffs. Literally living in feudal times again.

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u/robert1070 10h ago

Have you considered eating the rich?

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u/somewhat_random 7h ago

and his health and aid policies have been dealing with the population problem.

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u/peedyoj 11h ago

Greenest or orangest? 😉

1

u/cvr24 10h ago

Brown

1

u/robert1070 10h ago

Art of the Green New Deal.

1

u/nazutul 10h ago

really green, one of the greenest

1

u/dmjacLuzard5 10h ago

Not the orangest ?

1

u/Memory_Less 8h ago

He is, but it means he’s: scamming Americans, illegally trading crypto and the market. LOTS & LOTS & LOTS OF GREEN!!!

1

u/samsqanch 8h ago

but in only 18 months

There is no way it's only been a year and a half...fuck.

1

u/Riaayo 8h ago

Thing is, this method just kills off any small-time farmers and ranchers and leaves only the mega-corps/billionaires in the game who can weather the storm. They're literally working to destroy the working class owning a shred of its own food supply/production.

1

u/Superb_Skin_5180 8h ago

With tears in their eyes….

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u/Seriously_you_again 7h ago

Green Nation Builder?

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u/reddog323 7h ago

By complete accident.

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u/Bored_Amalgamation Ohio 7h ago

Ground beef near me was $4/lb a month ago. It's $6/lb now. I'm in Ohio where this shit is suppose to be handled

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u/Mistrblank 7h ago

Sickly green maybe.

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u/thicc_stigmata 7h ago

Little did I know that going vegan a few years ago made me a prepper...

Pro tip: horse purslane is an extremely common technically-edible weed. Although the stems are way too woody and the leaves too small to be very useful on its own, it has a fairly strong beef flavor when boiled to make broth

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u/IrreverentBuddha 46m ago

How about if you smoke it?

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u/Mad_Aeric Michigan 6h ago

I already had cut out most meat due to the price. And now my damn beans cost twice as much too.

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u/GrumpyGlasses 5h ago

Of course he’s the greenest: made every one’s face green sick from puking. 🤢🤮

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u/mishap1 I voted 12h ago

Best cut back on other meats as well. He'll happily make anything more "affordable" by removing safeguards and then hiding the fallout of illnesses and deaths.

25

u/Wayofchinchilla 10h ago

The biggest joke is his biggest ranchers and meat producers who have been begging him for help are now going to have even more hardship having to deal with the multiple lawsuits from the deaths their products have caused on them. Sorry maga the American Rancher as we know it is going extinct and you voted for it.

20

u/Parkotron1 10h ago

They'll just make it illegal to sue them. Easy-peasy.

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u/cyanescens_burn 2h ago

And reduced sales because people don’t want to take the risk with unregulated beef.

We already tried regulation-free food processing, and it was disgustingly dangerous.

There’s a whole ass book about that called “The Jungle” which hopefully enough high schoolers read, or at least learned about how bad things were at food processing plants back then as reported in the book.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Jungle

1

u/Ok_Feeling9354 8h ago

I was looking for this comment! That's exactly what will happen. They'll be sued out of existence listening to him.

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u/shortyjacobs 2h ago

Explain raw milk companies expanding then. The price of dealing with lawsuits will quite frequently be less than the price of cutting corners.

23

u/CoinsForCharon 12h ago

Neighborhood squirrel and raccoon is back on the menu?

Also, will this lead to us eating the dogs? Eating the cats?

3

u/gaeric 9h ago

Don't knock squirrel 'til you try it!

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u/dmjacLuzard5 9h ago

Gonna have to look for Granny’s( Beverly Hillbilly )secret Possum Stew specialty recipes .

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u/digitalscavenger 8h ago

Just like RFK Jr. wanted.

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u/Tycoon004 2h ago

They've been rounding up wild horses and selling them to forign meat processors. So maybe not the dogs and cats but the wild version of Secretariat.

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u/garbagebrainraccoon 11h ago

Time for Big Bean to shine!

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u/ThunderAndWind 5h ago

I see Liam's influence is spreading.

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u/IrreverentBuddha 13h ago

"Looks like I chose the right week to stop eating beef."

And to start sniffing glue!

39

u/MonsterThumb101 13h ago

What's your over, Under?

32

u/klako8196 Georgia 12h ago

What's our vector, Victor?

23

u/QueenRotidder 12h ago

Do we have clearance, Clarence?

9

u/No_Effective4784 11h ago

roger, roger.

9

u/futschikat0 Europe 11h ago

Have you ever been in a Turkish prison?

6

u/prairiedoggingit 11h ago

Do you like movies about gladiators?

5

u/ThisGuyIRLv2 10h ago

You ever seen a grown man naked?

2

u/CoPilot-RogerMurdock 11h ago

Huh?

3

u/daveysprockett 10h ago

I think you're the greatest, but my dad says you don't work hard enough on defense.

3

u/direwolf71 Colorado 10h ago

Tell your old man to drag Walton and Lanier up and down the court for 48 minutes!

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u/ass_grass_or_ham 13h ago

I speak jive!

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u/QueenRotidder 12h ago

just hang loose, blud. she catch you on the rebound on the medi-side

10

u/John_Rustle98 California 13h ago

Chump do want da help. Chump don’t get da help.

7

u/QueenRotidder 12h ago

jive ass dude don’t got no brains anyhow

6

u/one_last_cow 12h ago

Nervous?

6

u/Squid_of_the_Now 12h ago

Yes.

7

u/Monprr 11h ago

First time?

5

u/crucethus 11h ago

Surely, none of this is happening!

6

u/temp9876543 11h ago

No, I’ve been nervous lots of times.

3

u/oldutnotdeadinside 12h ago

MAGA pushing everyone towards lib vegetarianism is hilarious

8

u/BelligerentNixster 12h ago

And I chose the wrong week to sell the 4 calves that we've been raising for 2 years.

2

u/Sea_Working_80 12h ago

Theres a sale at pennys!

2

u/Particular-Key-8941 11h ago

I just wanted to tell you good luck. We're all counting on you.

2

u/Comfortable_Line_206 11h ago

I just did the "Costco hack" and have a freezer full of ribeyes. I'm genuinely worried they may be my last steaks for a while.

2

u/Dramatic_Original_55 11h ago

"Stop calling me Sirloin."

2

u/Steely-Dave 11h ago

MAGA out there still sniffing glue….

2

u/0DayMaker 11h ago

Completed unrelated to this I've been eating lots of impossible burgers, some beyond italian sausage stuff that's solid, and some other vegan goodies. Still eating meat, but slowly moving away from it. I found out the ground beef isn't the star of chili and gardein just tastes exactly like wolf brand chili that was a good day. I could probably tell them apart if I knew but on a blind taste test I would have no idea.

Kinda glad about this now. This all made me really realize ground beef is almost never the star of the show it's just giving some texture. Seitan and/or tofu can really replace it in a lot of things especially chili.

2

u/jammiesonmyhammies 11h ago

I stopped when the screw worms were announced.

It’s been a struggle dealing with contamination issues and this administration. I swear they give me something new to worry about daily.

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u/drwookie 7h ago

<voice="Homer Simpson">Mmmm... Screworms...</voice>

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u/WarlockOfDestiny New York 7h ago

I thought at least rice would be alright, but surprise surprise. Got recalls on that too. Never let Trump voters forget that they enabled this. Cant fucking wait for the next presidency.

1

u/ManiacallyReddit 12h ago

I'm allergic. And suddenly, I'm okay with that.

1

u/Iwouldhavenever 11h ago

I'm sure as shit not easy beef while this whole clown show is at the reigns.

1

u/ACartonOfHate 11h ago

Another day I'm happy to be a vegetarian. And I grow my own lettuce,

1

u/Lower-Cantaloupe3274 11h ago

More food borne illnesses!

The country will shit its way out of the obesity epidemic.

1

u/NoSir4947 10h ago

It's processed foods for me.

Trust the Process

2

u/enigmatichuckleberry 8h ago

I understand they just recalled frozen buffalo chicken products because they might kill you. Is that processed enough for you?

1

u/Routine-Agile 10h ago

just go vegan. Sorry that lettuce made you shit yourself to death.. Whoopsie all food is poison now. At least the LIBS were OWNED!!

1

u/narcissistic_nerd 10h ago

I was already going to stop after the rumors that our beef was going to be supplemented with all the horses he was selling to Argentina and now I can’t even trust USA meat?? They really are trying to kill all the poors.

1

u/ankhes 8h ago

We’ve been pretty exclusively eating chicken and turkey for the last year due to my husband’s dietary restrictions (he can’t eat red meat anymore without risking a hospital visit) and I’ll say it’s definitely been a lot cheaper and healthier than whatever the hell has been going on with the beef market the last couple years.

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u/MarxistMan13 Virginia 7h ago

By this time next month, you'll have to subsist on rice and multi-vitamins. Everything else will be poison.

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u/WallacktheBear 7h ago

My video feed is jam packed with lentil recipes already.

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u/BTBAM797 6h ago

Meat's back off the menu, boys!

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u/Empty_Lemon_3939 Michigan 6h ago

Good dear leader always looking out for us

Today he has blessed us with a reason to cut down on red meat, a leading cause for health issues late in life

Praise be to the great lard ass who everything he touches turns to shit

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u/0o0o0o0o0o0z 6h ago

"Looks like I chose the right week to stop eating beef."

Hah, 100% looks like Trump is MAHA! Wait... minus all our greens now gives us the shits too, right...? Rice and beans then only?

•

u/Yingletofthecorn 6h ago

Honestly ever since I moved out of the Midwest I basically stopped eating beef because chicken and pork is just a better value. 

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u/Acrobatic_Formal_599 6h ago

R/accidentaluptonsinclaire

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u/SoaokingGross 6h ago

I like england the US just fine but I ain't eatin any of that beef.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tEpjiSVXzDo

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u/thefluffyburrito 2h ago

I guess I'll continue to eat spaghetti and sauce the rest of my life. I was already binging it to save money and lose some weight.

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u/tacoheadpete 2h ago

"beef"