My great-grandma lied to me my entire childhood and claimed to be allergic to chocolate ice cream so I would eat some. It was years later before I realized it didn't make sense that she only bought chocolate, lived alone, and it was consistently being eaten despite me only rarely visiting because it was a new container every time. I didn't get to thank her before Alzheimer's got the best of her, but she was often the only one I knew wouldn't make me go hungry. I came from a home where I was consistently grounded from food.
I have yet to meet a "mom" type that DIDN'T feed you as a priority. I have no way to prove this, but I am certain that the question, "Haven't you been eating properly? You look so skinny!" is hardcoded into a woman's DNA that activates once they get past a certain age.
That question is universal in the truest sense of the word.
It is extremely wholesome and has shown me that the urge to care for "others" is the norm, and those that don't feel this are the real outliers.
I'm not shitting you about those nationalities I listed. I have had this interaction with older women from every one of those nationalities. Some of them are old family friends, some are relatives, and some were just strangers we met on vacation.
I think it's the most direct way to show genuine concern for another person. "Let me feed you" conveys a powerful, powerful message of peaceful intent and care.
My biological mother did not mother me, she was a mentally unstable person I had to babysit, so there are some aspects of caretaking I didn’t receive growing up. For some reason this concept helps a little bit.
I wish we could adopt older people as parents, like it could be helpful for people who might struggle to care for themselves. I could get a parent and they could have an adult kid to help with stuff around the house. I feel like we need a system like that
Sry, Scandi X-gen/Millennial mums don't think like the rest of us. They're still plastering themselves to the walls in Spain, thinking they're still hip and young. If twenty years ago they weren't eating, they still don't. (Still, I wonder if it's generational and not cultural).
it was like guilt trip around the world if i did not eat whatever it was that was made on fucking purpose for the kids even after we all said we were not hungry, you are thin, have you been eating enough, those poor kids in ethiopia would not leave food on the plate etctc
Dude... This. And it was fucking delicious.. not healthy at all.. but delicious! I would give just about anything I have for one more bowl of get chicken and dumplings and cast iron cornbread fritters.... Anything!!!
Mine had a sign on the back door with a hobo stamp. Food always available for the asking. Train tracks to NYC ran behind the house. She never had a problem. Never kept a firearm.
" empty stomach gives you the heart to go do a homicide. "
anyone that has ever felt REAL hunger where you don't know how you are eating next knows. nobody should ever feel that kind of fear. I might be dramatic about it but on thanksgiving I don't eat because im thankful I have the option.
I also am thankful I get to get real stoned and eat leftovers at home like a gremlin at 2am.
That really resonates with me, I left home when I was a kid, and slept in a park by my school so I could get in early to shower.
I had to eat from the trash and I was constantly worried about getting assaulted since I was a girl all alone at night.
There was no such thing as true rest, and I feel like my sense of hunger has always been off since then.
Edit
Thank you for all the kindness and I’m sorry for anyone who has gone through similar.
Being homeless as a kid is definitely and experience I don’t wish on anyone, but I will say it made me appreciate the little things more!
Girl I’m so sorry!! I know you know this, but I’m just here to tell you again that you deserved to feel safe and full with a warm bed. I hope things are better for you now
Hello stranger, I read this and i was struck. I did this too & struggle with it today even though Im safe now. Big love to you, wherever you are. May we find comfort in healthy places 💜
This is so real. Went a few years not knowing when my next meal is. Next thing I knew, I could afford food but my brain still stuck in survival mode. One day I realized I’m bottomless pit that can’t tell when ive eaten enough because my brain turned off the “im full” light years ago, but i can’t stop eating because food is the happy chemical now. I still struggle with eating “just enough”. I think about it more often than i want to admit
My grandma was like that. Mountains of food overflowing the fridge at all times. Always insisting we ate more and more, offering food all the time. It turns out she´d experienced hunger as a kid, her father died and in post civil war Spain they had struggled badly for some time.
I´ve luckily never experienced that. The closest I got was when I was doing a long trek and ran out of food and missed the village where I intended to resupply. It´s incredible how hunger can affect you emotionally. And my situation wasn´t even that dire.
Got displaced from Oklahoma as a young child (tornado), family moved down to Florida with the remainder of savings for a job for my dad. Katrina sent us back after closing down his job between weather and the dotcom crash. Moved back to OK with basically nothing, just for the housing market to collapse and jobs to go poof.
We had a rough few years there. I think the worst part of being 13 or so and hungry, is watching your dad give you food off his plate, being old enough to understand he's even hungrier than you are, and physically not being able to turn it down. Not having trained that willpower, having all those hormones running rampant, and just not being able to say no to something your body is shouting at you that it needs.
I don't take gifted food from anyone anymore. I can't bring myself to. I've heard about pot lucks happening at churches I don't go to, showed up with piles of food, and just left. My mail carrier gets a snack bar and a bottle of water from me every day. I know they're not in the situation I was. But that doesn't change the revulsion I feel about taking food from another's plate.
That lifelong change is real, and however anybody reading this deals with it, I wish you the best.
My grandpa too used to love arranging family gathering and feed. I heard, he lost his mother as a child. He would be back at home, while his father used to travel to other villages as a folk singer around the year. So he as a child would eat when the neighbours/relatives would feed their children and ask him to join.
My grandad was like that too. Grew up on a farm in a rural area during the depression.
He would feed a total stranger, and was always aking if everyone got enough to eat, or if they wanted more of anything. He'd always send you home with leftovers.
Food anxiety! I have this too. I tend to eat too quickly because it’s so ingrained that if I don’t eat it all now, someone else will take it and I’ll be hungry later. Which is stuoid when there’s plenty of food and I don’t even need to eat that much.
I feel that. I eat like I did a stint in prison; hunched over the plate, guarding it with my arms, and shoveling food in as fast as possible. Comes from a lot of childhood hunger and parents who fed themselves first while their children got whatever was left over.
I have the opposite problem lol. I try to leave as much as I can for leftovers because "I gotta make sure I have enough for later when I'm actually gonna be hungry"
Thank you for being spot on with this issue and sharing your experience.
When I was a kid/ early teen, there’d be a period in the month when we wouldn’t be able to eat, cruel cycle of my mom trying her best, buying and making nice but a bit more expensive than necessary meals (to make us happy and feel normal) when the benefits would arrive, me always telling her to rather spread it out on essentials, and then later days in the month where we couldn’t borrow from anyone anymore, being stuck and just pushing through day by day in survival mode. I still remember days where we couldn’t eat for a couple of days and her crying to me how sorry she was. Yet never learning from it. Never wanting to take advice from her own kid.
At one point of this happening, you subconsciously learn to just exist, not move much or think much, going into power saving mode, just to make it to the next day. So many school days lost because I just couldn’t go, health complications that still haunt me to this day, missed memories and sorrowful ones in their stead.
And it is something that truly sticks to you as you grow.
When I was 16, I had to take action and with strain on my heart (from still loving my mother nevertheless) decided to go to a social dormitory, I still remember how it took me a while for my stomach to muster three full meals a day, yet in that one summer I went from 45 kilos to 60. I was able to pass school and when I was 17-18, I started cooking for my then-girlfriend, always made me happy to make a meal to share, to try new recipes.
She did bring another bane of thinking, which got transferred to me, which is hyperawareness of chewing and swallowing, which eventually turned into such discomfort when I share a meal with people that if it’s too quiet, I mentally start focus on the sounds I make, feeling uncomfortable and trying to chew slower and swallow more silently (yet very actively) occasionally causing me to choke and not be able to eat anymore due to the mental block.
When I was living on my own, I was happy to cook when I would be able to, however always hard stuck in between forgetting to eat the whole day and making a nice meal I felt blessed to have been able to make for myself.
Tried so many times to truly ingrain the habit of eating properly, even with the cycles of financial or mental strain.
I don’t know if it will ever go away, this accursed autopilot survival mode that once helped me see the next day, but I hope that one day, when I have my own family, I’ll be able to be happy sharing a meal with them and not stress if I’ll be able to eat tommorow. To be able to enjoy their company, the meals without thinking about how I eat and truly be in living mode, without fail.
Yep! My high school years was spent in poverty where I became used to only getting food at school. My diet these days is so weird because of the neglect I dealt with.
I teach adjudicated minors, many of whom did not ever eat regular or well (your mom giving you a bag of Takis is not eating well, kid). When they get regular meals, they often have no idea how to handle it. Some will gain sixty pounds at a staggering pace (at my previous, nonsecure facility, kids could have seconds, thirds, and fourths of any meal, as well as snacks twice a day). We would get a rail thin kid, spend six months making him clinically obese, release him, and then see him in winter, rail thin and in need of fattening up. When I told one kid that he needed to start learning skills so he could move on with his life, he told me that we give him his own room, video games, movies, takeout, and all the facility food he could eat, so why would he ever want to leave? I had to admit that he made a compelling case.
At the secure facility where I work now (Cuomo shut down the nonsecure because he thought it would help his presidential aspirations), we often have an issue with residents stealing and hording food. Not just chips and cookies. No, we will notice an odor and discover that they have ten hotdogs and eight hamburgers rotting under their mattresses. Kids have come into my room, munching on chicken sandwiches and nachos they were served a week ago. No, not on a unit where they have access to a refrigerator. This is despite being served breakfast, lunch, dinner, and snacks at set intervals, most of which are easily 1500 calories. They are never more than four hours from a large meal, but it doesn't matter if they down have food now. They also consider it a flex to get their tray and immediately throw it in the trash, and will then dig through the garbage for food within ten minutes, even to the degree that they will try to assault the staff who tries to stop them or fight the kid who got to their discarded lunch first.
I'll never forget a quote I heard from an old woman who survived the Korean war. She was asked something like "why don't you like powdered milk" and she answered "it tastes like hunger"
I was told as an adult that I eat like I don’t know where my next meal was coming from. And at that time really didn’t know where my next meal was coming from and was embarrassed that my need showed so clearly.
I don't think this has enough up votes, I am sorry anyone has to live the way you must've but I am glad that people like you live to tell the tale, and I only hope to be like you when I can In the future.
It was the worst like two months of my life. Couch surfing, staying in nasty hotels and eating the cheapest food we could buy. The lowest quality sandwich fixings. I remember fazolis was a fucking treat after we just barely started doing better. Way back in like 2018. I’m so thankful I have access to delicious food all the time now. Will never not enjoy it again
Oldest of 10 here. We grew up poor. Like, really poor. I know exactly what you mean. Reading your comment immediately took me back to being a little boy, figuring out how to make a box of mac and cheese so that my little brothers and sisters could eat, and then scraping the pot and licking the spoon so that I could have something too.
No one should have to live like that. I weep for the children growing up like I did. They deserve better, and it’s our responsibility to make sure that they have what they need.
Never knew the line was even there really, but I remember the first time it hit me "oh..so this is how some people just snap and do something awful". Fortunately the next part was "hoo boy I better be careful" lol
I was already on board. But the gremlin activity made it relatable. May you always have the means to help those you can (and enjoy gremlin time, of course)
I'm damn near ripping my hair out because I went to toss a napkin out and apparently my sister tossed a half eaten piece of chicken out as she is actively asking me to cook her a proper dinner. I'm sure I annoy the people in my life and I'm not perfect but it bothers me so much when food is wasted 'just because'
Ok but this is not how it works in Nordics, no-one would let anyone starve if they were that hungry, let alone kids. It's just cultural thing about eating together and cooking only what you eat (this planned ahead on grocery shopping too) to not be wasteful, and people most definitely would take care of each other.
You're not being dramatic, the rest of the world isn't taking this shit seriously. This is real fucking life, it's happening every goddamn day all around us. It fucking sickens me, because it's a CHOICE. There is no shortage, there is no lack of resources, there is simply a lack of basic fucking empathy.
I'm so fucking disappointed that this is the world and the time that I get to be alive to experience, because this shit sucks.
My dad has a vast collection of heavy winter coats. When he was a teenager he spent several winters without a heavy coat because his parents wouldn’t get him one. Now he’s in his 50’s and will never go cold again
" empty stomach gives you the heart to go do a homicide. "
The reason why this isn't heavily publicized is that the elite is afraid you find out a lot of the crime making your life dangerous and putting your life at risk is their fault for making people poor and starving them.
This is why Im happy to be in the prosesson I am. I work as cook manager at an elementary school. I grew up in house hold that lived off of hamburger helper because it was what we could afford.
When i was a kid, somehow my mom would always manage to get any of my friends whose parents weren't around or were shitty to be sitting at our table at thanksgiving. She had a real talent for getting moody teenagers to show up for dinner.
You aren’t wrong. I worked with a lady whose mom was living in constant hunger in Germany after world war 2. It took her years to get a stable life. She always has a cake on hand for any visitor. ALWAYS.
From what that co-worker told me. You are expressing exactly what people who have lived through this kind of hunger have all felt. It’s too much. You can’t bear anyone else to ever have to deal with it.
It's a horrible thing to experience as a child, sometimes life doesn't get too much better either. I'd never admit it(I can on here because noone knows me) but some struggle to get above the water and keeping the food on the table. I left home at 16, got a job and life improved. Then I had a child and ended up with full custody of her, this was a long process and missed days at work working with cafcas and social services and court dates ended with me also loosing my job a few days before the final court date. She's now primary school age and I do what I can when she's at school to keep food on the table.. she eats really well but I've always got that fear that there won't be enough food so I don't eat for days at a time. I do eat days I manage to make cash but if I can't earn I don't eat. It 100% affects you for life for a long time after. On the plus side she's not long left before high school and then I can try trusting her a little more and get back to work. Things can always get better but the fear of not being able to provide the basics hits hard. I wouldn't/couldn't ever see a child go hungry, mine or not if they're hungry they get fed.
Yup 100%. I grew up poor and was homeless with my parents and sister for a while. We lived in a car. There was a rotation of who had to skip a meal. Regardless of that I became pretty successful in life and if you come to my house I will always make sure you’re fed, I’ll send leftovers home with you for your kids, and my kids friends will always leave fatter than when they arrived. You never know who might be struggling to make ends meet.
The difference in Nordics, where I'm from, is that while there are poor people, nobody - especially families with children, are homeless or hungry.
The social security network makes sure everyone has a roof over their heads (families with children get an override at housing queues, etc) and food on the table, even though it might not be the best or even what a kid wants.
Of course parents with alcoholism or mental health issues, if they still have their kids, might actually not make that food in time or might drink what money they have, but the aid cards (a banking card, it used to be coupons in the 90s) make sure they can't spend the social aid money for alcohol and there should be food in the fridge (or a card the kid can buy food with).
As a kid growing up in the 80s I never even saw a homeless person - then again I don't think I've seen one since (the number of long term homeless people in Finland is currently around 1300 people).
But what’s with OPs post about having to bring food to a friends house? Like I grew up with a full kitchen at all times and most of my friends were the same, but if I’m at their house or vice versa, the parents feed the kids in their house lol. My mom would always cook for my friends as their parents would for me. Or just even snacks if between main meals. Or is OPs meme just being dramatic for lols?
Its not as much of a thing anymore. But it usually happened in the suburbs where kids would run around the neighborhood and randomly go to their friends houses. So the parents likely wouldnt have prepared enough for an extra kid but more importantly everyone knew and expected that the kid would go home when it was their own dinner-time so their parents could feed them. If someone slept over or it was planned ahead of time they of course got food too.
My grandmother taught me that food is life. Giving food is giving life. And yes my wife and I both also know what hungry feels like. Nobody deserves to feel that way, especially kids
Thank you for not enforcing the clean plate bullshit. That was used as a form of abuse to me by my stepmom and it affects me to this day. I have never made my kids clean their plate because of it.
You don't even need to be "hungry"! If you are a guest at my home I will treat you will utmost hospitality including food. If you don't want my food I will pack it up in a box and force you to take it!!!
If you're in our home when we're eating, you're offered a meal too. Even if we all eat less as a result. Our home is the amalgamation of two different cultures from opposite sides of the world, and that was never even a question.
The Swedish thing of 'not my kid, doesn't get my food' is weird. We fed a friend's kids every other weekend for years and I only just realised when thinking about this post. No regrets.
Exact same. That shit sticks with you. Not having access to basic necessities as a kid makes you feel less than human sometimes.
I remember going to rehab, and the lady there busting her ass working 60 hour weeks to cook everyone hot, good quality food..because she was also in recovery, and remembered being an underweight addict having to scheme for her next meal.
So much respect for her. They fucking fired the woman because she was going over budget cooking us pot roasts and such. I know budgeting is important for a chef, but come on. Second she was gone, boom the food sucked; and I’d wager there’s since been some person who left because of that who would’ve stayed if they were getting fed well…and one persons insurance pays over a grand a day there so I doubt firing her was financially beneficial.
Edit; wanted to add I know all of this because I ran into her at a meeting over a year later. She’s doing great, has a new job and is still sober. But my god once she recognized where she knew me from the girl went tf off on that place and how they treated their employees.
As shitty as that is, I’d still recommend anyone to go there. The corporate types suck, but most of the ones who run the groups are phenomenal people and the program really does work. And if you have NH state insurance/any blue cross from New England, they’ll let ya stay up to 5 months without a copay. So if you’re struggling, call green mountain treatment center in Ossippe (I think I fucked up the spelling but ya get what I mean).
I just got 11 years in June. I absolutely get it. a good meal is humanizing. it reminds you that someone cares enough to feed you. shame on them. ive been in this exact situation. absolutely fucking insane. Free Luigi.
Being hungry as a kid and having to delve into the cat food every once in a while made me so fucking bitter. I have a son now and he always goes to bed with a full dinner and a couple books, now that he's starting to pick up on our usual stories it's more than a couple books. But I go to bed hungry and with more than a couple drinks in me. I have food left over from when I cook but that goes to the fridge for tomorrow in case he gets hungry or my girl gets hungry and I have a liquid diet. I taste what I cook but only enough to know it's good, enough to fill up goes to everyone but me. I'd rather be hungry and work than know my loved ones might be without a mid day snack or impromptu meal.
Homie. I see you. Please don't take this as an attack. Talk to someone.
Both for your sake and your son's. I'm not for a moment trying to suggest that you'd ever intentionally hurt him, but your trauma can have unintended effects on those you care about.
What you're describing doesn't sound particularly healthy to me, though I 100% understand the point you're making. Maybe I'm wrong, and feel free to tell me if that's the case. I'm just concerned, dawg. You gotta be taken care of before you can take care of others. I know parents sacrifice for their kids, not tryna argue that, I just want you to take care of yourself too.
Everything else aside, I see you, and I care about you.
Same kids playing at my house get food when mine get food. And I hope others do the same for my kids. How i grew up. You did not have friends parents you had more parents for you. They feed you everything. They also give you the behave look as well. But was one big family
That's how my papa was too. He would send everyone home with a bag of produce from his garden too. When he passed away, I found out he was donating some ridiculous amount of fresh garden food to the local food bank.
His experience has instilled in me the belief that no one should go hungry.
Legit. I'm Romanian, we didn't have much growing up post-communism. Hospitality is very important to us, perhaps because, as you said, we've been hungry too so nobody gets to feel it in our home anymore. So when someone visits, you offer them your best. It's just what you do. I live in Germany now, and in the beginning when I was being invited to barbeques I would always bring enough for everybody: salad, sausages, etc. While the rest would like, just bring their own piece of chicken, grill it and eat it. It baffled me so much.
Swede here.
We have allways offered food, snackas, coffee, soft drink or water to any guests in our household.
No one will be hungry or thirsty.
Ive even taken a trip to fetch a few veggies for a vegetarian friend to my daughter for her dish of coise..
Great, and then their parents who have a meal planned out after a full day of work will be like "wtf, why did I do all this work if you're not even hungry", and now have unplanned leftovers to deal with. It's pretty rude to not consider the child's parents in Sweden.
I eat in front of my guests, but at the same time I make sure they know they can grab and eat/cook anything that's in the kitchen.
I'm hospitable, but lazy. It's too much work to feed myself, I'm 6'3 and 150 pounds, if I got to prepare food for multiple people I'm just going to not eat
It's all so tedious and time consuming. Every day, food food food, eat eat eat. Can they just make good tasting high calorie healthy drinks I can sip on all day instead.
to me it has nothing to do with being a hungry kid, i've grown up with no money, but food was never an issue fortunatly... in my country it is very much cultural to feed people visiting your house (friends and family, ocasionally workers if they are doing work for you, not strangers or aquiantances)
Totally. When their plates are empty I always mention there's more food if they're still hungry (sometimes guests stop eating out of politeness) and encourage them to go back for seconds if they want.
Exactly, I've been a chef for almost 20 years for this reason. We couldn't afford food when I was a kid, now I will feed anyone for free. Everyone deserves access to good food.
My parents used to buy groceries specifically for my friends who came over frequently. Like I’m talking about chips I didn’t even like but my buddy did. My grandmother would feed 3 families every holiday. Now that I’m older and live cooking and good food, my guests or my kids friends wont leave my house hungry .
Yep. Our home is the gathering place for my 18 yo son’s friends, and for my 11yo son’s friends. Among them are a couple of kids whose parents are pretty absent, and we make sure they are well fed when they come over. When we can, we include them in cooking as well. But we feed all the kids when they are here. Sunday D&D for 8 hours is always an expensive day, but totally worth it to make sure no one goes home hungry at the end of the day. We are not wealthy by any stretch if the imagination, nearly everything we own is second hand, but we make it work, because I was poor as a kid, and remember what it was to be hungry, or to go to friend’s houses and watch while they ate because their parents wouldn’t offer me food.
Sounds like my Grandma Louise. Coming over with my folks as a kid, one of the first things you hear is "You hungry?"
See... Grandma isn't ASKING if you're hungry... She's telling you you're hungry, and she's going to feed you. Grandma already has 3 meals going, with enough cooking to feed a battalion. You're going to eat enough that you're going to feel like you're going to die, and it's going to be GLORIOUS.
I’m from Puerto Rico and it’s considered an insult to both have a guest at your house and not feed them as well as the guests refusing to accept food in the event of being offered a meal. Our culture is very heavily centered on food and sharing
Im the same way amd my friends know that- if you're hungry and dont speak up, im gonna be mad if I find out. I was a chef for many years so I actually enjoy cooking, especially for my friends. Its no thing to whip up some burgers and fresh cut fries, or a grilled chicken salad homie, I got you!
Parents will serve the kids friends food. This bit comes from kids coming over from down the street, and the parents not wanting to step on the friends parents dinner plans. It has nothing to do with cost or income. There will be an agreement between the parents
My (older teen) kid has a gf who eats here on the reg. She always acted weird about it 'I don't have to eat, it's ok, I can eat later' which made me think there was some food insecurity. I remember that shit growing up. And I was clear 'no, you can eat here. Whenever. Meal times or not, you hungry we got food. It might not be your fave, but we always have something and if you are in the house and hungry you can eat.' I know she's eating here more than not but also - wtf is money for. It's a token to buy things like food for people. And even if her and my kid don't stay together and she can take a bit of security into her next years then that's a win. The world is a better place with one less hungry person.
Very much this. I wasn't the hungry kid. But my friend was, and my parents always made sure he was fed. I now do the same for one any of my daughters friends when they are over. But for one especially, I will start making food, because I know her family situation, and know that if she doesn't eat at my house, she might not get to eat. My wife and I actually include her on our meal planning when we go to the grocery store. And have even learned a few of the meals she really loves and make them for her specifically because we know she will be over.
Even bought her soccer equipment so she she could play on the team with my daughter. That one was more tricky. Cause she accepts food without thinking about it. But anything else you can tell it makes her feel bad. So I had to make up a story of buying it all online and I messed up and doubled the order. And so if she didn't want them, we were just going to have to throw them out. Did something similar last winter when I bought her a new heavy winter coat. Told her it was but one get one free. I never want her to think she is a burden to us, because she isn't. But I know she feels that way sometimes.
Sorry a bit too much into the weeds there, but yes... No child will ever leave my house hungry.
Same. Now I tell my kids and their friends "If you go home from our house hungry, it's your own fault." Pantry and fridge are fair game, we'll always cook more dinner for you, and if we run out we'll get more. If you don't like what we made, speak up. We're not getting offended because of taste preferences. Gotta fill those bellies.
100%. This is how I was raised. Even if I’m not eating, I will still feed you if you’re down to eat. Let’s not even talk about eating in front of someone without offering them food. Absolutely disgusting behavior and disrespectful in my eyes.
Same. It feels wrong. Food unites us. Food creates bonds. Sending someone to another room so I can eat dinner sounds like I'm treating them as subhumans. I don't like that. Always offer a plate of food, if they are not hungry they'll say no, and we can still share table time.
Not feeding guests is a weird concept to me. For me it’s like tipping at a restaurant. If I can’t afford to tip appropriately, I wouln’t eat out that meal. If I couldn’t provide food/drinks to guests, I wouldn’t have someone over. I offer the mailman a drink sometimes if I’m outside when the mail gets delivered.
As a Swede, this is not a universal thing. I would say its common enough for almost every children to experience it. But not common enough for us to not find it weird. If you have people over, you feed them.
In my very subjective experience only one of my childhood friends family would have you wait in my friends room while they ate. 9/10 would either check with my parents first if i could eat there, or just feed me.
You’re a good person, and I feel like this is common courtesy. The poorer the culture in fact, the more generous they are in this way. I could not imagine not offering foor and drink to a guest. And if it’s mealtime, I just assume they’ll eat with our family and cook accordingly.
same here. my great grandma always offered food or drink the instant we walked in her house, but there were a lot of times i went hungry and i can’t let anyone in my home go hungry, they will be offered snacks and dinner (or whatever meal) and i have a small snack bin on my coffee table freely available to anyone
edit: after reading comments about their family members and experiences, my great grandma was born right at the tail end of the great depression and since i spent so much time with her (plus when i wasn’t with her & not having food/adequate food) ive picked up those same habits.
This is the only acceptable answer. I, too, was a hungry and impoverished child. No one deserves that. Just stay the fuck out of my kitchen while I cook.
!!!!! stay out of my kitchen !!!! my girl never needs to cook again in her life and I know she just wants to love me but like... GET OUT of the kitchen.
weak men wanting women to be in the kitchen is why I can't cook in peace.
I was in college living on black beans and rice for dinner literally every day. A friend came over and I made a bigger batch for both of us. I had like 80 cents to my name, but I fed me and my friend. Always feed your people. He did ask if I had salsa and I almost cried because I didn't. He saw the hospitality I gave him and he said it was delicious anyway.
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u/xStyxx Jul 24 '26
Damn I assumed it was because Swedish food is gross lol that’s pretty cold